Is she gay?

The guy I used to date a long time ago has a grown daughter now. I've known her since she was a teen, she's now 36. She's neither masculine or feminine, she's been wearing a pony tail for years, no makeup, and very tall. I ran into her a few years back and she introduced me to a girlfriend. Now the girl lives with her and her infirmed mother. They take trips together, sometimes work at her dad's job together. I know it's none of my business but it's something that I would like to know. I do not want to lose her dad's friendship that's important to me. Should I ask him? HOW do I ask him?

Why don't you ask the grown daughter? FWIW, I have a ponytail, don't wear make-up and have lots of female (and male) friends. I've been asked that question too. The answer is no. I also know women that are petite, coated with make-up and have more plastic surgery than they can afford. Gay.

Your right Brennie: "it’s none of your business"! - There are a lot of things I would like to know, but it doesn't give me the right to put people into categories for my own curiosity or social convenience. I am sorry if this answer feels a bit harsh, but I believe people should be able to talk about things that are personal and private because they have chosen to confide and trust in others. Simply just wanting to know about something that is so very personal for the sake of it doesn't sound a good enough reason; and sexuality is something different people have been given a hard time over - even though we are supposed to life in such a cultured, intelligent progressive world! Some have been beaten up, harassed, excluded from friends and family or in extreme cases taken their own lives through bullying. your relationship with this person might be a long standing one, but at 36 she is and adult fully capable of living any life she chooses, she might be gay she might not be but it shouldn't matter either way to you - if you are not in her close trusted list of friends or relations and you don’t know one way or the other then she is entitled to keep her own affairs private! it sounds as though if she were gay you would be one of the last people she might choose to tell anyway. otherwise if you were a respected person of hers she may have confided more of her general life to you. (you are talking about knowing your ex a LONG TIME AGO!!!! SO HOW DOES THAT RELATE THAT YOU CAN ASK SUCH A TOTALLY PERSONAL QUESTION NOW?! She may not be gay and that might cause just as much embarrassment and awkwardness for her if she was gay and didn't wish everyone who just felt it their business to look into other people’s lives for the sake of it. what do you do if she is NOT gay but others have been on her back because they think that she is too!!!! whilst you just get to walk away from it all.... and why would you even ask an ex of yours about another persons sexuality!!!! I guess you have to think about what kind of "respect" this sort of thing offers this girl other than your own hidden agenda. This isn't a reality game show this is a person’s life...and a private life by the sounds of it (I’m afraid). I don't usually sound off like this often, but I think you are over-stepping the mark here. stereotypes is not fun for anyone if there is the slightest element that bullying can/could be part of it somewhere down the line, what happens when you find out...who do you tell...and who do they tell, before you know where you are it could be a very uncomfortable time for someone who may or may not be gay. If you are a heterosexual person then how can this girl’s sexuality affect or harm you? PLEASE....don't involve your ex (he is your ex, "and her father!!!!!" so again this is another potentially inappropriate line of communications that could open a can of worms). Her father is not a child either!!!! so I think there is every possibility that whatever the situation he would be the one choosing his friends, but if you want a better option to this immature and self - centred question....BE A GOOD FREIND TO BOTH OF THEM AND STAY OUT OF THIS SUBJECT TOTALLY...IT ISNT YOUR QUESTION TO ASK OR PONDER! Sorry to be so blunt with you. But I hope you can see things from another person’s perspective. Some things are just personal and private: and speculations about this kind of thing may not always accurate, but can also do as equally much damage damage (and for no reason other than self indulgence). Many people talk of girlfriends these days but it does not necessarily mean there is anything sexual going on, its just a term. and let’s be honest here the word (MATE) that is often used by endless males who are complete strangers (but are trying desperately to form a non- threatening social bond) actually does have an animal sexual connotation!!!! but no one thinks endless groups of men are sleeping together do they!!!! SO PLEASE!!!!!!: Take care of your OWN affairs, (I’m sure you have a private life, sexually speaking or there are just things in your life that you would prefer people just left you alone to deal with! Life is just too short for this kind of thing! Find some other little hobby for now. your snooping is doing nobody any favours!