I'm so confused

i was in long relationship with somebody for almost 3 years.we were living in a country which both of us were there for educational porpuse and we have been living together for 6 months. just because we were from different continent we had to move to our home countries after 6 months but we still kept in touch .i was madly in love and sometimes his selfish abusive behavior got into me like always borrowing money and his excuse was he is broke and he doesnt have any money, he never took me out for lunch or dinner ,never bought me any presents and he always pretended like i dont have money to do that but i was like its ok no one is perfect. after we got apart i got into difficult struggles with money and he promised me he will help me with that and he will prepare things for us to get married .he asked me for more time to let him prepare himself but he always complain about his horrible financial status and at the same time he started to go on expensive trip and buying expensive stuff,well i didnt mention any of that to him because i always believed in everyone freedom ,so i only said to myself he is earning money by himself so he is free to pay for whatever he wants and if he wants to pay for me its his favor not an obligation.well after spending 2/5 year on his excuses ,he finally said he cant afford it and i lost my best years and couple of marriage proposals that really could be healthy and full of all,i lost my family's trust due to getting to endless arguments to accept him and so much stress over work and financial struggles,i lost my health to not curable condition due to stress,anxiety over my hardship battling with my problems and what i went through . and at the end when he found out im sick and i need time to find my feet he told me i cant wait for you.so how can i cop with that?