Husband has no common sense?
FRITOPIE - Feb 21 2017 at 01:31
My husband and I are getting frustrated with one another, me more than him. Hes always been hard to deal with when it comes to staying clean. Hes a US Marine and has great skills, very smart and is very friendly, financialy responsible, caring- to me hes almost the perfect husband except.. I struggle with him a lot specialy now that we have a baby.
By struggling i mean i have to CONSTANTLY REPEAT myself when I tell him to close the door behind him, turn off the light after using it, wash his hands before touching our baby, wash your dishes, oick up after yourself, lock the entrance door, stop being so clumsy, ask your visitor if he wants anything to drink, have manners, ....and little stuff like that that accumulates to a big disaster.
It stresses me out that i have to constantly clean after him or put something back in its place where it needs to go. We've talked about it many times, he KNOWS and agrees that hes clumsy, but cant get to fix himself. Just recently ive had to out sticky notes on the restroom mirrors that say WASH HANDS, and im probably gonna have to do the same for everything else if he doesnt change. We've been married for only 1 year but dated for 2. Weve discussed this even before we got married because he noticed that i got irritated when he did stupid things.
I dont know what the next step is as far as helping him be better, im at the point where i dont know if i can trust himself taking care of our baby by himself. Any advice?
I don't mean to discount your feelings or misinterpret the situation. However, it sounds to me like you need to lighten up a little bit. Life is much too short to be worrying about these small stupid things. You are his wife, not his mother. Also, you did know about these imperfections before saying yes to marriage, and you still married him.
On the other hand, if he knows it bothers you and makes no conscious effort to change, you may have a different problem on your hands. My recommendation would be to talk about your concerns with him one more time. Give him 2 weeks without mentioning of his mistakes. If he has not made any change whatsoever, perhaps look into marriage therapy.
But, keep in mind that he loves you. Nothing he does is a direct attack on you, it's just who he is.
Most importantly, remember, there are bigger fish to fry.
:-*
I doubt you did know, because likely they have occurred more recently, correct? The baby definitely matters, but are you quite sure that he cannot be trusted with the baby. You have indicated to absolutely no suggestion of this, only suggestion to him likely being focused on serious matters, such as, should he ever be confronted with the responsibility of it, looking after the baby.