hello everyone,i'm a gay guy in his late 20's and I'm in love with a guy called Danny Miller who stars in Emmerdale. I've been in love with him for 8 years and I just can't stop thinking about him. I can't wait to go to sleep every night so I can fantasize and dream about us being together. he follows me on twitter and sometimes replies and I feel like we have a connection but I know deep down we don't. i have over 300,000 followers but his tweets are the only ones i look at. i try to find myself messaging him anything just to try to get a response but I don't want to get to a point where he blocks me even tho he say's it's cool.
My bedroom is full of his posters. I have picture folders, dvd's of his scenes etc and I know I sound crazy, pathetic and sad but I can't help it. He gave me the courage to come out to my family a few years back and even though my family knows I love him but they don't know I'm at a point where I sometimes feel physically sick when I think of him and I cry near enough every day because I can't be with him. He's straight and I'm gay and that hurts me even more but I keep dreaming that maybe if we met (which we have once and he gave me a kiss on the cheek) he would like me and we'd fall in love ahhhh I know that sounds crazy.
I want to know what I could do. I'm 29, living with my mum and I've never had a boyfriend maybe that's a part of it? It seems like it's getting harder and harder lately no matter what i'm doing i just think of him and kissing him etc. wondering if anyone has any advice on this. please don't make fun. Thank you