Need help... please tell me what to do?
JUVIA LOCKSER - Mar 23 2017 at 14:57
It's a long story .. but i need help :")
I used to know him about a year ago we were best friends .. he was going through a breakup with his girlfriend .. he was so so sad so i kept watching over him and maked him feel better .
Then i fall in love for him :") he was still in love with her
After that it seemed that he stareted to fall for me .. he was acting like he wanted to know me better .. how i feel about him . We are from different religious views so it's hard to get married if we love each other . he told me that he loves me .. but he is afraid of loosing like befor .. then he told me that he is still stick in the past and can't get over his past relationship and his feeling for me are not real .. he was CONFUSED .
I told him that i need a space .. stop talking to him .. it seemed that he didn't like it .. he was so sad when i make myself away from him . Now we are talking .. we are back like FRIENDS .. but he is acting strange .. posting love posts on FB .. like he can't reach love .. he is in love .. like that stuff
No great advice, but will try my best. Also, know that you have my sympathies. I've been there before and it sucks.
I can't see your future, but I do know my own past. MANY times in the past I've gotten involved with guys who are wishy washy about me. Maybe they're going through a break up, maybe they're just not ready for some other reason. Regardless, they want me to put my own life on hold and stifle my emotions while they "figure things out".
It's never worked for me. (It's never worked for any of my friends, either.) What it mostly does is leads to me feeling hurt and resentful, like I'm expected to give and give and give and never get back. Eventually one of two things happens. Either I get fed up and give up or they find someone who they are "ready" for.
Your life may be different, your guy may be, but I'm guessing not. :(
My advice would be this: give him an ultimatum. If he wants to be with you, he can be with you. Or, if he needs time, he gets it - but only as much as you choose to give him. (A month or two might be fair if he just broke up with her - no more, and that's only if you *really* feel that this is just a "I need a month to get over this" thing.) If he can't do it, you distance yourself and keep to it, even though you're going to want to cheat and be his friend again. Don't let yourself. It's tough, but best to pull off the bandaid.
Even if he does say, "Heck yeah! I want to be with you!" really think about what you want yourself. I'm going to guess that you deserve someone who loves you with his whole heart, who can care for you and not be wishy-washy. Maybe you don't think you deserve this (which is why you're willing to settle for this twit), but I think you do. (And if you don't, it probably makes more sense to putting in the time/effort to MAKE yourself the kind of person who deserves someone great than it does to settle for someone not-so-great.)