I feel like giving up

I have been living almost my whole life with shitty neighbours who have done abolutely ridiculous things to harras my family and me. I became antisocial, I have a traumatic kind of experience and I am very hs. It's a long story if I would tell everything about my neighbours. they have been shittalking about us. that we have 7 dogs, while we have 2, that they have to use a hammer and knock on the wall when our dog barks, that they can shit talk about us and call the police when they feel like it while if we do it, they will "do things" they punched my mother when I got home from work, they were holding a stone telling they would throw it through the window if we don't stop. with what? I don't even know what we are doing. is it our "existence"?? is it wrong to even breath here? The police already stopped coming here, they are on our side. did that make them stop from harrasing us? no. They called tv shows, so they could find a way to break us. they said to our whole neighbourhood we were wrong. they cut our flowers. they hate on us whenever they want. this started when I was around 3/4. I am now a young adult. I am 18. I talk about this alot with my friends, but eventually they told me it would be okey. I feel left alone. They can't understand how much stressfull this is. I don't think they can even understand or see my emotions. It annoys me and hurts me that some people don't even try by understanding me. I understand them, I want to be there for them. I am like a motherfigure and yet, I don't get it in return. I know that maybe a therapist or psyciatrist is an option, but I am shy, I am socially awkward. I am an introvert and I can only talk about my personal issues with people I actually trust, but lately that feeling went away too. I don't feel safe here anymore, maybe you will come with:" just go away there and live somewhere else." I wish I could.. My grandma is 80 and she won't EVER go away there. I can't live for myself yet, I don't have the money and I won't leave my family either, they have to deal with this shit too. I even put up a camera in my bedroom who looks out of the window, so I could capture everything when something would happen. I am scared. My neighbour looks at my window whenever it is late and when he comes back from walking with his dogs, and yes. He has dogs too. also 2 dogs, nothing less that we have. They bark whenever they are gone from home, so again, is my family less worth that they can hate on us, but if we do it, they start to scream in our faces and hate on us more? are we children? are they our parents by knocking on the wall that we have to shush our mouths? I had dreams who were terrifying. Where I gave my own life by just killing them and myself too. It is already ridiculous to think this isn't it? it is scary even for myself. I talk to myself in my mind, but when I am alone I actually use my voice. It's to calm myself, but also to have a sound around me. It is just already weird to talk about that on the internet, but because this story already is f*cked up, I don't see why I shouldn't add this. even though what they have done to our lives, We tried to not go into it, but they are doing more and more to ruin my life. They are both +-60, I am sure they had a good life at my age, but I had to deal with being bullied at school and having problems at home cus of them. That is kind of my way of growing up. I was a silent kid, someone who would be a shadow in the class. I tried to not come close to people, well, people would'nt come close to me either so I didn't really have to try at all. my neighbours are addicted to us. it is scary that I only start to talk about them now too. Am I doing the same? or is this all out of stress, frustration? I am scared of what could happen next. I am scared they will continue even if all our dogs are dead and gone. They will come with something else. Your chair is making noise, cut your plants, your car is in the way, you scream too loud, yes. this is all kind of stuff they have said. and when our animals are dead, they will continue with these instead. We can't even argue in our own house anymore, we can't/need to be very VERY carefull to even use our chairs anymore cus of the little sound it makes, we can't even put our car in front of our house when my grandma can't walk that much anymore so we bring her in front of our door, they cut our plants too, I can almost take them in as our gardeners. "can't you clean our window too?" they said when they saw my mom cleaning our front window from our house. and don't let me foregt saying that my neighbour can just punch my mother a nosebleed. and we have to FUCKING deal with it cus we didn't have evidence or proof. they argue with someone on the street and eventually start screaming to our house, while we had nothing to do with it. They close OUR backdoor with a STICK cus of whatever they think. cus of our dogs, cus of the tv, cus of we TALKING to eacheother, cus of WHATEVER. THEY MAKE NO SENSE and whenn I write this down more and more, I get more and more triggered and emotional. I hate this. I hate them. I have never hated someone this hard. I am so sorry, but I just really hate and despice them.

Your neighbors don't sound like nice people. I'm truly sorry you're going through this. I used to work with a lady who's neighbor poisoned her cat, made snotty comments to her about her kids being noisy brats. At the time her four kids were ages 18, 15, 13 and 10. They made noise as most teenagers and preteens do. The lady I worked with told me her neighbor told her several times if she couldn't control her kids she needed to get married so her kids would have a father around to discipline them. The lady was divorced from the kids father. It was none of her neighbors business. She said he was a horrible old man. Twice he grabbed her 10 year old by the arms yelled at her to go inside shut up. Finally the lady and her children moved. I'm sure this doesn't help much but know you are not alone. Hopefully this will stop soon. There's always someone trying to make someone else's life crappy. Speak to the police, if you haven't already, about your rights and any protection or what they may need as proof or evidence to have case built against these people. I know you said the police are on your side. So what can they do to help your family? Also, if they are on your property and using sticks on your door are they trespassing by being uninvited and is there anything in your homeowrs insurance policy regarding damages the neighbors may be liable for? I hope this ends very soon.

Hello TYCO, my recommendation is to get some footage of them doing all of this stuff. Grab some cameras and surround the house with them so that you capture their every move and then call the police and provide the footage, they can issue a warrant or something. Or just take them to the news, upload it to YouTube and make them go viral. Make it public and ask for help around the neighbourhood. You're strong, you're smart. You can use your wits to defeat them. It's your living place, so you can make any footage of your place. Please take care and install the cameras as soon as you can. Don't give up.

Hey, I don't know whereabout you are but local councils have some sort of nuisance neighbour team that can install cameras and get footage of them being spiteful. They did in England anyway as one of the tv channels did a series following them around on the job. This is where google could help you! What they are putting your family through is wrong and they should be punished but legally would probably be better in the long run ;-)