I must be fucked up

It seems like I'm never satisfied with anything, so I proceed to fuck everything good up that happens to me. I got accepted into a good college, and I have no desire to try to get good grades. I have a boy that really cares about me, but I'm not 100% satisfied with the relationship, so I've been fucking that up too. Add in random periods of severe depression for seemingly no reason, and you get me, constantly an emotional wreck, but not interested enough to put effort into anything positive that has come into my life. It's been getting worse, and I just don't have any idea how to make this state of mind go away, I'm tired of being a fuck up and hurting people close to me :(

It sounds like you are bipolar. My father and several girls I have know in my life had this disorder and it sounds like you might have it too. You need medication, it is available for sure and it helps. basically you have a chemical imbalance in your brain so you go from feelings of euphoria to feelings of utter despair and depression back and forth all day. Your symptoms seem typical of this condition. The fact that you realize this is happening is a BIG step towards recovery. My father never came to this realization and has has managed to alienate everyone in his life to the point where he is now completely and utterly alone. No friends, no relationships, not even family will go near him. Do something about this now before you end up the same way.