I really don't no what I should do please help!!

THIS GIRL I KNOW....so i knew her since i was just a lil kid i mean we went to preschool together, she was my cousins elementry school girlfriend, as we both grew up, i always wanted to be with her but i was never the one she wanted i guess, buy 9 or 10th grade she moved back to are home town at which point me and a few friends were chasing her, finnally we weeded one of the competitors out then it was down to two, mean while i had a girlfriend which was her cousin, so i ended up kinda not wanting to chase her anymore an one nite she comes to my house an we mess around but it wasnt 100 succesfully accomplished, the next day i send a messed up email to my girl friend her cousin along the lines of breaking up, so me an her start dating finnally an from the start im litterally fighting her 3 brothers which were my friends before me an her, months later they finnally accept it so we start goin strong and i always felt like i have to win her again an again even while we were goin out, after about a year or so she cheats on me with my best friend, i storm out of the scene, i found out because there playing footsie an touching in front of me the day after they fucked, so i leave the place an walk out to the road heated she comes out and starts walkin with me, an she tells me, i go balistic threaten to kill myself , way over dramatic but i was in love, but she doesnt leave me alone an i walk home still in tears we get to my house an were arguing and getting a lil phyisical, then something happens an we have extreme mad sex, an afterwards im still pissed thinkin how can she, an still heart broken but i guess we healed it up for the time being months go by an she starts flirting with my best friend again an me an him start growing distant, till one night after school year ended i tell her to call him an tell him to come over, he does not know im there he knocks on the door i swing it open an i say were goin to fight, an he puts his beer down an tries to plead with me but i punch him he falls towards me i guess trying to wrap me up but i throw him to the wall an start wailing on his face he hits me maybe three times then i drop him an kick him, i get assult charges for the incident. well months an years go by, i end up staying with this girl, are realisonship start gettin really violent were i cant trust her so were fightin an sometimes gets phyisical, im no proud of these things i have done to her, i start cheating on her with maybe around 8 or 9 different females because of my trust issue my fealin was if she is i am to, some her cousins, random girls and her sister, i cant be sure but im pretty positive she cheated on me during this time, then one year she does cheat on me with her ex, i lose it again but i dont get phyisical just angry and i was hurt, she breaks it off saying she wants to be with her ex but i still really want to b with her, she wont have me so i spiral an 8 or 9 turns into 19 or 20, somewhere down the road we get back together months later, i go up to this town she was living at to visit make a lil money but the first night she is plotting to go b with her ex again, i get hurt again an i go back to her moms an wait she doesnt come back till the next day an we are arguin for a couple days till i finnally go back home, and month or so goes by an im still soo hurt an i make a drastic decision to join the airforce i take the asvab go to meps then im off to basic i complete all that an the training and i get to my first base where im alone again an i have alot of time on my hands an i start thinkin bout her again so i call her an were talking its all good its almost as if we are together again till one day i find out shes been sleeping with my older cousin i flip out threatn all of them but some how i forgive her jst so i can talk to her again, seems as if were good again then i find out she has a new boy friend so i flip again then i get over it again just so i can talk to her, then i find out she has another boyfriend keep in mind all the boyfriends were probably cheated on by the next one, but once again we start talkin again an seems as if were good again so she buys a plane ticket down to me, we get married in a court room quick, we didnt tell anyone then slowly the news got out and my mom was pissed an friend were confused, i figure watever im happy when im with her an no one down here knows her and her past an we can start fresh, so were moving along everythings great and we find out were having a baby, we have a beautiful son, then a year goes by then we decide were goin back home for a lil while to visit we show him off then i come back to work back to my base and she stays up there for a few more months an we start growin distant on the phone arguin and i start accusing her of cheating an other things mostly drunk talk, then she finnaly comes back an were perfect again, and then we find out shes pregnant again, the pregnency is close to around the last time we had sex but im still really unsure an thinkin this could possibly not b mine, i push it off then we have a beautiful daughter an im suspicious again that she could posibly not b mine but either way im so in love with this lil girl it doesnt matter but i just want her to tell me if she aint, anyway year goes by then we go back home again, we visit then i leave an she gonna stay up there again and im goin come bak to my base to go back to work again, so same thing as before we grow distant an argue same stuff, then on my birthday she tells me my daughtr who i been raising for a year isnt mine, and not only is she not mine shes actually my first cousins daughter the older cousin from before, i break down an cry, wake up an stil feel like shit, then two days later she tells me she meet someone, an she leaving me but were still married im crushed again, she seems happy to have cheated on me an her mom seems to approve of this, so i plead with her but she seems if she wants to b with him, the next day when im still hurtin i decide to try an get over her an move on, but we have two kids and were still married, but i deside i cant b with her but now the pain is kickin in from a 7 year realisonship, wat do i do now?!

Look a.big.ass.mess the girl you know as a kid is playing mind games with you and you are in a lovesick dead-end relationship. You sound like you are addicted to the drama and intensity of the chase rather than a committed healthy relationship. The girl is a player with no one home under her veils of nothingness. She is a empty shell.