Desperate

Hallo I don't know where to start. I feel so stuck in my situation and just not able to make a decision and feel like I am going crazy. I moved from my country to UK 3 years ago because of my English boyfriend. The beginning of our relationship was so nice I was very much in love I know is a part of a honeymoon period in relationship and doesn't last forever. In this 3 years there was a many time when he let me down I kind a lost trust in him. Iam not talking about cheating I trust him with that but he likes to spend a money and that's the point which is very important for me. I need somebody responsible who can look after his family. I feel like iam a head of family here not him. Since I am gone from my country I feel like I've changed a lot I was outgoing girl but here I am finding it quite difficult to find any friends and don't feel like I want to go out at all not enjoying myself. Everytime I think about anything from my country -my friends,family,even the places my heart is literally breaking how much I miss that. But here is a problem I still love my boyfriend and I just can't imagine to break his heart and break up with him because lately he is more responsible and trying so much. And I am also 30 so is time to start having a baby. If I break up with him now by the time I find new boyfriend and will be in a mind to have a baby with him...God knows when that will be what if I miss chance to have a baby? And this is basically my dilemma...one day I feel like I am happy with my boyfriend everything is good and next day I am panicking that for the rest of my life I will live in another country it's like iam leaving my previous life and somebody I've been all my life in past. And this is repeating all the time and I am so desperate just don't know what to do anymore can you please help me and give me your opinion because I don't have an idea how to deal with this situation. Why do I always think that grass is always greener on the other side?thank you for you time and answer.

You are only 30! You still have plenty of time to have a baby as long as you stay healthy. If you feel this is not the man for you, the man you want to start a family with you still have plenty of time, so don't worry, you will find the man of your dreams!