In love with my best friend??

Hi I'm really confused about my feelings towards my friend and need an outside opinion. I can't tell if I actually like her or just wish she liked me. I mainly get confused about it when I'm drunk so i assumed it was a drunk and lonely thing, but now im feeling it when sober too. i dont know if its just because shes one of my few gay friends, but its starting to become a problem. she definitely doesnt like me like that, but she makes it hard sometimes because she'll joke around and flirt, and hold my hand when shes drunk and were walking home. i dont know what to do shes not my type, but we banter like an old married couple and people always thinking were dating. im starting to wish we were.

You can be friends with people and have an intimate relationship without it being sexual. There's also a common thing that happens where people become so lonely and starved of attention and physical contact that they confuse a platonic friendly relationship for that of a sexual feelings.

Maybe try talking to her. Tell her you are feeling a little confused about things you are feeling. Maybe she can help you.