Don't know what to do

I broke up with my partner of 16 year's 3 months ago,since then a family member has said she saw my partner chatting up a young girl in our local shopping centre,but she didn't say when this happened just that it was during the time we were together,when I asked the family member for more details she's not admitting she said anything about it,which now makes me look like a liar,my adult son found out about it and said if I get back with my partner he's going to kill him and also stop me seeing my little granddaughter, he's calling my partner all sorts of horrible names and I have no doubt he will carry out his threat, which will involve the police and a whole lot of trouble I don't need or want,I still love my partner and I have tried very hard to get over him, I'm in my late 50s and he's ten years older,I don't want to be with anyone else.

You haven't said why the breakup happened. I'm certain there was a good reason, stating that reason might be helpful. Your relative was not being helpful to pass along this information and she probably realized that after she passed along gossip - and that's just what this is. She doesn't know the context. It was none of her business unless she thought the young girl was in danger and the proper response to THAT would be to step in right there, call a security guard, NOT tell somebody who can't do anything about it, MONTHS later. You don't say how young the girl was. There's a huge difference between talking to a six-year-old (whose parents ought to be nearby) and talking to an older teenager. I'll go out on a limb and say your relative may have a mean streak. Why tell you - after the two of you have parted? I have no idea why your son is so angry. Did your partner treat him badly growing up? Is he under the impression your partner is a pedophile? What the heck is going on there? Since you have broken up, what your partner does at this point is none of your business. Zero, zilch, nada. You can see whomever you like, and so can he. Three months is still really early on. You can and will get over this. By the way, is there a reason you were together for 16 years and didn't codify your relationship with marriage vows? There may be good reasons, but that's curious. If I was 38 or 40 years old, I wouldn't accept *dating* someone indefinitely. I'd want a commitment after a year or two. I am widowed, and went on dates with a couple different men who (I found out later) were still married, and had no intention of divorcing. One actually had a good reason- but I still waved good-bye and didn't move forward with them. I wasn't going to spend *years* with a man, maybe nursing him through serious illness, maybe moving in and giving up MY home, only to have him die and realize everything he had goes to his wife.

The breakup was over a stupid disagreement,the woman relative is 33 years old,the girl that my partner was supposed to be chatting up was 12 years old,as for marriage my partner asked me many years ago but I decided I didn't want to re marry after a long marriage to a violent bully,my partner wants us to get back together that's why I don't know what to do.

Well, what he does after you've broken up is still none of your business. I still don't know why you son is so angry - did your partner treat him badly? Did he treat YOU badly while he was growing up? So - he was talking to someone *your relative **thinks** looked about twelve. You have no idea what that was about. I'll bet, neither does she. Doesn't look good, but still, your relative was wayyyyyy off base. If she thought he was manipulating/grooming a child, why didn't she call the police? What good does it do to tell you months later? Again, what has your son so out of control? This is what happens when gossip is passed around. The gossip you passed on to your son made him angry - furious - and we don't even know if it's worth a second thought, even if the picture I'm guessing your relative painted is true! Your relative now has made YOU look like a liar to everyone else.