Dumped because of my job

Hey there,m I'm struggling today. Im a professional singer and have gigged for over 30 years. My Partner and I met over covid when I wasnt gigging at all but then a year later my gigs returned and I work most fridays and saturdays in a wedding band and I also gig solo. My partner has trust issues and has always found my job hard to handle and so I said he can come to my solo gigs any time he likes but I aksed him to leave my band gigs to just me and the band as we do mostly weddings. Non of my band members bring their partners and it would feel really odd to bring mine. Its my job and I feel I should have the space to do my job without my partner there all the time after all I dont go to his work with him. Anyway hes now dumped me because he asked to cone to this weekends band gig and I said Id prefer to go on my own. I've been dumped because of my job. Am i wrong to ask to go alone? Should I have agreed to him coming just to save my relationship? Am i being selfish? Hes came to band gigs before but he doesnt really get on with my band mates and it just felt awkward. Any advice would be great thanks

No, you're not wrong. Everything you say is correct. No, you're not being selfish - you're trying to prevent HIM from being UBER-selfish...at your huge, life- and welfare-changing expense. And it wouldn't have stopped there, OH, NO... Too few sentances in and I was yelling, "COERCIVE CONTROLLER ALERT!...COERVICE CONTROLLER ALERT!....DUMP THE DUD!" And then breathed a sigh of relief when I read that he dumped you (Discarded - go google). I think he's confuuuuused....I think he wants a daughter. Or a dog ("Sit!"). (Scuse sarcasm) So no, you've not been dumped because of your job. You've been dumped because for some reason (probably because it was during Covid and you were down), this, just started to show himself, Abuser thought you'd be a pushover and make a BRILLIANT emotionally-battered, completely-controlled, Lackey and Emotional Punching-Bag ("Please Sir, may I take a wee?"). Google Narcissistic Controlling Boyfriend or some such and.... You'll find him. And then come back here and take it from there.

Sorry - I was so appalled I forgot my P&Qs: Hello. :) I also forgot (second one this week!): HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY TO YOU HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY, DEAR JE-NNYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY(wait)YYYYYYY! HAPPY RE-BIRTHDAY TO YOOOOOU! (You'll see from your surf - you have just dodged one heck of a big bullet - RIGHT through the heart and brain.) (Yeah, alright - two bullets, LOL)

(What do you sing, by the way?)

Hello Jenny, thought I might try to respond to some forum threads as it seems many people have troubles right now and might like a chat. I LOVE that you are a singer. Awesome! Feel free to talk about the type of music, band etc. I use to sing when very little for my relatives (corny hey) and then choir at middle school & in concerts at high school. Then I sometimes accompanied my husband when he DJ weddings and sometimes I sang for the guests. So I could slightly relate. Never anything professional like you. No great talent. My Sister ended up joining an actual band for awhile singing also. Jen, if you have talent and this is your passion you should never feel guilty about doing it. It is part of what makes you...you! Now, not meaning to knock the fellow as many of us suffer insecurities and trust issues but the right one will get you and totally support you no matter what. He'll be understanding in all aspects of your life. Support shouldn't be conditional. You shouldn't have to compromise when it is also a job. Don't stop! For goodness sake. You will still be hurting right now and still in that 'cutting him some slack' stage but outsiders see a little more Prince Alarming than Prince Charming. My beloved Nanna use to say 'if in doubt then don't' & 'you're a long time dead so do what you love now'. Sound advice if only I'd listened LOL