What did I do wrong? Did I wait too long to ask her for her number?

For context I’m 32 and never had a gf or a relationship before. I was part of a very conservative culture where dating wasn’t allowed, but I e become more independent recently and trying to date now I want to tell you about a situation I had. I feel like I learned from it and hopefully by the time you respond to this I will have had 1 or even multiple dates. So I went to this meetup for 'single professionals' and I had a conversation with this lady. I think we might have spoken for about 7-10 minutes and she did seem interested in the conversation and was laughing at times. But unfortunately and unideally, someone else joined the conversation too. That obviously wasn't ideal, but I tried to not let it affect me and not impact anything. I was polite and tried to talk to him as well, but i noticed that she was asking him questions as well. Idk why he was staying there as he said 'hey i'm just eves dropping' when he came to our area where it was just me and her talking. I think he was there for like the same amount of time that me and her were talking ant he was talking to her as well and then she eventually left. I was there standing with him and trying not to act affected and keep my cool. I was waiting for her to come back but then she said 'hey nice to meet you i'm going to go.' I was going to ask for her number when she came back but she just said she was going.... I didn't want to ask for her number right away, i wanted to talk a little more and establish rapport because we never met before. .... I don't know what happened. I mean did I wait too long to ask for her number, should I have not waited more than 4-5 minutes before asking for her number, so that it would have been before this other guy came to talk and 'enter' our conversation? Did she just not have enough interest, because she should have came back to talk to me when she returned or what? I think i was interesting in our conversation and she kept looking at me when this other guy came in, but i didn't want to appear rude or antisocial but telling the other dude that me and her were talking to each other. So I guess I’m asking is did I take too long to get her number? People tell me the other guy shouldn’t mattered and I agree. Or was she just not j tweezers to begin with because she would have came back and spoken ti me more and given me another chance to get her number. Okay thanks bye.

Sorry for the wait - we're very short on respondents at the mo. If no-one else takes this, I will, but I am limited on opportunities at the mo. and still have 'long-haulers' to keep on top of, so can't promise by-when, only that it'll be by this weekend, latest, MAYBE sooner. Meantime, please feel free to respond, or just say Hi and take an interest, to those queueing alongside you (this is an old-style forum so that's how it'd done). :) PS: Am posting a duplicate of this to the other 3 posters still waiting at the moment.

(Moderator bump-up - OP still awaiting a response)

Final apologies for the wait. Right - let's waste no more time... (and - Hi!). "For context I’m 32 and never had a gf or a relationship before. I was part of a very conservative culture where dating wasn’t allowed, but I e become more independent recently and trying to date now" Go into this vry conservative culture? What country you from? "I want to tell you about a situation I had. I feel like I learned from it and hopefully by the time you respond to this I will have had 1 or even multiple dates." Okay... "So I went to this meetup for 'single professionals'" Oh, earwigo... Now define 'single professional'. What, like professional user or romantic player, professional adulterer, professional scammer, professional relationship-misuser (think it's an Elastoplast or 'something to do' and/or somewhere to heal)...? But anyway - I'm just reacting to the known 'Old Chestnuts' contained in these dating events and their supposed target demographic, for the fact they either welcome non-genuines (bums on seats, ker-ching ker-ching, who cares!) or just stupidly and ignorantly leave themselves open to them (normally care but not when the money starts coming in). "and I had a conversation with this lady. I think we might have spoken for about 7-10 minutes" So was it Speed-Dating? "and she did seem interested in the conversation and was laughing at times. But unfortunately and unideally, someone else joined the conversation too. That obviously wasn't ideal, but I tried to not let it affect me and not impact anything. I was polite and tried to talk to him as well, but i noticed that she was asking him questions as well." (Oh, I see - so no, it wasn't.) And that inappropriate crashing, alone, would have put you off your stride. It's not natural when you're trying to chat someone up! (Or was it just a regular social evening for making friends as well as partners?) "Idk why he was staying there as he said 'hey i'm just eves dropping' when he came to our area where it was just me and her talking." He was there to mutineer your prospect. He fancied her (or envied you) so - the battle is awwwn and scuh-rew you! (Awwww....His mum must be SO proud (vomit).) What An Arsehole. Here...Or maybe she thought he must be your pest of a brother or best friend or something, because you hid your annoyance so convincingly? Sounds possible? "I think he was there for like the same amount of time that me and her were talking ant he was talking to her as well and then she eventually left. I was there standing with him and trying not to act affected and keep my cool. I was waiting for her to come back but then she said 'hey nice to meet you i'm going to go.'" To whom? You or him? Or both? If it was directed just at you - YOU'RE STILL IN THE GAME! But next time. In which case, maybe she sensed she had been turned into a Trophy as soon as the gate-crasher not just introduced but FORCED Competition into the before-then, pleasant mix? Maybe she liked you but not him, and that was her only choice at that point? "I was going to ask for her number when she came back but she just said she was going.... I didn't want to ask for her number right away, i wanted to talk a little more and establish rapport because we never met before. ...." Fairenoughski? "I don't know what happened. I mean did I wait too long to ask for her number, should I have not waited more than 4-5 minutes before asking for her number, so that it would have been before this other guy came to talk and 'enter' our conversation? Did she just not have enough interest, because she should have came back to talk to me when she returned or what? I think i was interesting in our conversation and she kept looking at me when this other guy came in, but i didn't want to appear rude or antisocial but telling the other dude that me and her were talking to each other. So I guess I’m asking is did I take too long to get her number? People tell me the other guy shouldn’t mattered and I agree. Or was she just not j tweezers to begin with because she would have came back and spoken ti me more and given me another chance to get her number. Okay thanks bye." NOPE. It wasn't you or anything you did wrong. Mr Gatecrasher ruined the atmosphere and mood for her, so much more than for you. Maybe you're more tolerant, and she could tell he was a giant A*sehole? Women usually can in that situation? And they're more offended by that sort of over-entitled, socially-inept rudeness, too. (Women historically are the civilisers, manners-setters.) Might she be there next time? You'll immediately have something to discuss and bond over if she will? He might have done you a favour without intending to - bought you more time in which to 'test-drive' her (very sensible instinct on your part btw), AND given you and she a lasting, meaty topic of conversation (which will naturally lead into revealing your respective, moral standards). What about the event organisers? Don't they have her details and could pass on a message to her that you'd like to see her again? That's the point of them, isn't it? RSvP about whether the 'nice to meet you' was (whether subtly or overtly) just for you? And PS if it was: ALSO it would at the same time have been a snub at him, to say, 'Nice until YOU turned up, you obnoxious, insensitive p**ck'.

PPS: "but i didn't want to appear rude or antisocial but telling the other dude that me and her were talking to each other." If you block someone else's rudeness and antisocial-ness with assertive fact-telling, like, 'Sorry, but you've butted into a private conversation?', then, how is that YOu being rude or antisocial? If she kept looking at you then I reckon she was trying to signal for you to see him off like that. But look - neither of you knew at that premature point, where you stood or whether either of you had a right to mark your joint territory or not (or yet) so....that's just a (live) spanner in the works. Sounds like she just accepted that he wasn't going to go away and to show him where HE stood with her feet (walking away). But it also sounds like she signalled that you and she would have to try again next time via the fact she came back to SAY 'Nice to meet you' and 'I'm going'. She could have just said nothing and gone - right? She was acting like a wanna-be girlfriend, like she had a duty *already* to give you the information by which to emotionally protect/comfort yourself. Yeah....... I mean - confirm or clarify, but, personally, I'd go again and look out for her or phone the event organisers to pass on a message to request she please come and meet you next time, since (and quote) 'last time you both got so rudely interrupted that it had you both too shocked to deal with it'? I mean - SHE could have, just as equally, right? Just circumstance. Or Fate giving you a blessing in-disguise.