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Special request Soulmate

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**Please note this is 'DD' wishing to connect with Soulmate** What I'm about to ask is a difficult thing for me. I'm usually (as you know) quite head strong and rather independent. So this will be a struggle for me. I'm coming around to accepting that I'm a big failure. I sort advice from this forum a long time back now and believe it or not I've genuinely appreciated the support I've received. Having this forum to turn to has been my saving grace several times over the past few years. I have been under tremendous stress. I own that a lot of my behaviour has not been acceptable and I feel embarrassment. I expect to be rejected. However, I have to ask as you may be my 'saving grace' again. So here goes... 'Soulmate, are you able to help me?'. I have been talking to a Therapist as you advised me to do so as I'm too needy for this forum. You believe me to have BPD. I read a little about it and decided that I don't have this condition. However, in the past week or so I've looked into BPD and read way more in-depth information. I concede that I may indeed suffer from this disorder. Having to start at the very beginning with my Therapist is going to be time consuming and I'm only allocated 10 free sessions. I can get access to more life changing help and even a new location to live if it is genuinely established that I have this mental health condition. The symptoms do indeed resonate with me. When I took an online quiz I got a 10/10 result. So I'll get to my request. To save time with my progress is there any possible way that you as a professional can write a letter about me for my new Therapist? I really need to get 'help' as soon as possible. I need to begin again. A new journey with my ultimate goal being... A new life. A new home. New friends. Happiness. Less depression. I am about as low as it gets at present. Having been shoved from behind onto the cement pavement right outside our Villa when I'd just locked the door to leave has left me very shaken. I hit my head and blacked out for a bit. My daughter found me confused, bleeding, egg on my head, covered in cuts, scrapes, bruising. Aches and pains. An ambulance took me to the Hospital. The Police attended. I talked to the Hospitals Social Welfare Worker. I talked to my GP. I now have a female Therapist whom I am comfortable with. Unlike the male Counsellor I had last June through July. My six free sessions with him were used up really quickly as he filled the one hour sessions with his religious beliefs and dad jokes. After our chats I was left disappointed and felt I'd wasted my time. Anyways, I understand your 'relief' to be rid of me. I appreciate that you are a very busy person and have been trying to overcome ill health. I hope you are regaining strength now and feeling more like your old self. Breathing better. I will be understanding of a rejection. Just felt I might ask. Regardless, thank you for taking the time to read this long message. Kind regards, DD

Special request Soulmate

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OH, I just saw how you referred to me as 'her' on Lils thread. So I know where I stand. Even though you asked me to keep in touch about the BPD info and my thoughts. Paranoid perhaps but I think you may have been talking negatively about me. Please keep in mind the pressure of what I've been going through. Which would break most people. Please also remember that people with Mental Health issues require a lot more patience and understanding than others. We are damaged goods. We don't want to be this way. We are genuinely sorry when we snap & hurt others. I just want to be a better person. That is a good quality to have. You know I've done it tough and I reached out because I needed to trust somebody with my very personal life & feelings. Never mind. Tail between the legs. I lost it over Christmas & New Years. It was very hard going it alone. Nobody to talk to. No outlet. Depressed. I'm NOT a bad person nor an evil one. Snappy yes. Quick to over react yes. I do nice things for people all the time. I'm not a selfish freak. Ok. Enough said. Bye & sorry for once again annoying you & wasting your time. Your illness sounds truly aweful & I hope you eventually feel good as new again. HUG (not love bombing & please don't shudder)

Special request Soulmate

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Back on your thread, please.

Special request Soulmate

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Just before I close this extra (-which is disallowed) thread: You: "OH, I just saw how you referred to me as 'her' on Lils thread. So I know where I stand." Short conversation about you between me and Lily on her thread: (asterisks added-in) Me to Lily: Hey Lils! Just a quickie to pass on Songbird's congratulations to you and Dishy (or you can see for yourself on *her* thread). Lily's response: Aww that’s nice of Songbird! Thank you. Were you and I in a thread with *her* once, trying to remember? Mine: Yeah, it rings a bell, you having contributed under a prevous alias of *hers*... Only a faint one, though (my Covid-head's interfering with my medium-term recall at the mo, takes a few days for my Numbskulls to dig it out and send it upstairs. But at least it does.) Wondering WHICH 'her' allegedly spoke so many (non-existent) volumes to you. (Scuse sarcasm, but, REALLY...enough persecution-complexed phantasm already.) Furthermore, I've told you off before about referring to me as a professional or specific gender - neither of which is established nor establishable on this forum - deliberately, for the sake of my anonymity. The one and only person who knows, and would never tell, is the owner of this forum. So why are you doing this again? Answer me on your thread (I'll copy this in). As you can probably tell: I'm even less amused now I've read this, than before. You have zero grounds and I and People's Problems deserve FAR better. If you like, show your thread(s) to your "psychologist". Now freezing this extraneous thread and, again - back to yours - "Barbara Streisand" - where I expect you to from-now-on stay there AND rein yourself in, thank-you. Or No Dice. If you feel negative or in any way over-aroused - DELIBERATELY DO NOTHING until it's passed. Everyone else in the world has to. Okay?
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