Don't speak

Hey, I just want somebody to chat to who doesn't suffer from tremendous immaturity, is not a Narc, cares about others. If this is you please respond to me. I'd be most appreciative. I am more often than not misunderstood, not heard, judged. Feel like an ant under a microscope. I don't have anybody! One family member only who critiques every word I speak which results in hour long lectures &/or advice telling me what is wrong with me. I had a counsellor. She was wonderful but my 10 free sessions per year are up and now I feel isolated and desolate. I HONESTLY start each day telling myself that this day will be different. If I can just shut my mouth....don't speak then I can't possibly offend, upset, hurt etc anybody. Never known loneliness like this. Hated! But why? What is it about me that rubs people up the wrong way? No that isn't true. This year I've started to find myself again, get my mojo back. Felt important and woe betide...Liked. This is only when I'm out of the house, amidst non family members. Thing is I start to relax, unwind, feel like the old me. Then I DO NOT WANT TO RETURN HOME. But I have to. And as hard as I try to avoid conflict it is sitting there waiting for me within seconds that I open my mouth.

There's only me here, at the moment - do I count? :D ("Don't speak!...I know just what-chyour sayyy-in...") Well, Songbird (hi and welcome)... "Never known loneliness like this. Hated! But why? What is it about me that rubs people up the wrong way? No that isn't true. This year I've started to find myself again, get my mojo back. Felt important and woe betide...Liked. This is only when I'm out of the house, amidst non family members. Thing is I start to relax, unwind, feel like the old me. Then I DO NOT WANT TO RETURN HOME. But I have to. And as hard as I try to avoid conflict it is sitting there waiting for me within seconds that I open my mouth." The answer's bleedin' obvious, then, isn't it. Like you say. Your home is full of aholes. The type that blame you for the fact they behave like aholes (because they ARE aholes - but you're NOT, how very DHAAARE HYOU!). Snow White didn't do anything to be despised, either, did she. Except for, be alive. You don't get to CHOOSE your family, do you. You're LUMPED with them. It's a Lottery Draw. Or a life assignment? (Somebody up there must want you to do Officer Training, rather than Basic. As long as you realise, it's not a punishment - it's training. Mucho importante! Attitude (and knowledge) is everything.) Welcome to the club. Super- and Super-Nova Empaths rule, yeah, baby! :) I'll bet they even make things up (things to accuse and criticise you over) - yeah? Go into detail and give more examples. If you have any texts/emails (anything identificatory censored), or transcript - that'd speed things RIGHT up. Oh, and pseudonym the characters. OR just have a (sane but nice) chat for now, to recalibrate before you launch in?

Wait up - just need to check something: Are you a brand-new visitor or have you posted under this alias before?