I feel conflicted and confused about my new job

Hi everyone :) im new here so apologies if this isnt the right space. I recently just started a new job in retail, its a chain business in the UK so relatively popular in some areas. I was job searching for a good few months and had no place to be picky because I have been out of work for a while as I was dealing with an illness, and then I became a student in uni and really wanted some extra money for savings (ready for when uni ends!) so I managed to find this job. The interview went well, and I was called up a few days later with a job offer. I had my first shift which was meant to be an induction last week, I was there roughly 4 hours and was told that I will be doing some online training and then a tour around, some till shadowing and just shadowing in general. I spent my induction just doing the online modules but expected to be getting stuck into training things like shadowing during my next shift, which was today. I was also told that our role as an assistant involves a bit of everything so till work, stock work, cleaning etc. Well within the first hour of me being there (I was finishing up my online training) I felt like I was thrown fully in the deep end, and shoved straight on the tills by myself after just less than 10 minutes of being ''shown'' what to do. Even then, I wasn't shown every till function. The manager ''showing'' me pretty much said its self explanatory so ill get the hang of it and she didn't want to hang around me watching all day so left after watching me serve one customer. I was so thrown off with this because I was told I would be shadowing first, then shown what to do, and then I would eased into it. I was on those tills for my entire shift today but was also expected to know when to get off and wander for jobs around the shop floor. Everytime I would ask what needs doing, I felt somewhat ignored and just expected to know. I dont know if this is normal but I feel like for someone who has never worked retail, has been out of work for a while, more than 10 minutes of being shown the bare minimum on a till is very little training surely? especially to then leave them by themselves for four hours? Not only this - but I made some mistakes occasionally. I was really flustered a few times because a lot of customers were asking about things I knew nothing about, I wasn't shown how to take part cash part card so I had to more less guess, I had to figure out how to scan in multiples etc, most of it i forgot because I wasn't properly shown any of it. Then, when I would ring for help with things I was just completely unsure of or for any mistakes, the other assistant looked so fed up as if I was a bother. Which i probably was, but at this point I was also fed up because I felt like I was just expected to know everything instantly and I felt completely disheartened and just like i was stupid. I finished my shift feeling so confused and drained because tomorrow im expected to just know what to do. Bare in mind, i have NOT even been shown the staffroom, the backrooms, what to do in the back room etc. Im absloutely dreading going back in. The silly thing is , I didn't hate being on the tills because most of the customers were understanding and quite sweet, i had a few that was a bit challenging but nothing major. A few definitely short changed me but I didn't realise because I was so flustered in the moment and confused on what was going on. I was anxious to buzz for help because I felt like i was bothering them just by the body language alone. I completely understand that sometimes its best to just get on with it, but I really found today difficult - more difficult than I ever thought I wouldve. I really struggle with change of plans and after being told i would be trained a particular way, I sort of expected it and I remember being specifically told during my interview that they would NOT leave me on my own on the shop floor for at least a week or two while we get fully trained. Today showed that was not true at all. Ive had my induction (4 hours of elearning - completely useless stuff too because none of it matters when its not detailed or partnered with actual in person training) and my 4 hour shift today and I already feel like i have had enough. I came home and didnt even feel like myself, I felt like ive been wearing a mask all day and i cant decompress at home because I have 4 days in a row of this - feeling like Im expected to know what im doing straight away and just thrown into it all. I want to burst into tears whenever I think about going back in already and that scares me with it being so early into my employment here. I know its only been 2 days really, but is this a sign i wont ever be happy here? or is it too early to tell? how long should i give it until i feel like im ready to call quits? I feel like its inevitable and regardless of when, its gonna happen unfortunately because I dont think this is for me. Its just a shame I need the money - but I also don't want to compromise my mental health because I have a history of addiction and I often fall back into it when I get stressed and anxious so i also have that in the back of my mind. I also know theres a chance im just being anxious and thrown off from thinking id have more training than this. I'm not even sure what I was hoping to gain from venting but I felt like I really needed to get this off my chest because everyone around me is telling me to give it time as it might just be first proper job nerves, but i just cant help but feel like I was let down by the ''training'' i was meant to have. There has been no mention of any more training now too, I was just told when I come in tomorrow I will find the other manager (never met them before so thats gonna be fun to find him) and then he will tell me where to go. Hopefully that means I will have someone show me what to do at least, but I'm not holding my breath at the moment. Thank you for reading this far if you were able to :) I'm sorry if its all confusing I am in my emotions right now just feeling a bit down and incompetent because I feel like I'm not capable of the job. Is this a normal thing to go through or have I just got unlucky? How long would you say I should wait until deciding whether this is not the job for me and look elsewhere ?

Ok three deep breaths. If you really need & want this job, you’ll stick it out. By the sound of it, your managers haven’t a clue & that’ll be because their boss hasn’t a clue how to bring on new staff. Your managers may not even be trained properly themselves & they’ll often treat you the same way that they’ve been treated hence you being kicked off the deep end to sink or swim. Some corporates can be really surprising when their in house HR bad habits are exposed. You need to understand that in the corporate world, everything flows from the top, down... whether it's good, bad or just plain ugly. You on the other hand may need to put your foot down & state that you were told that you would be comprehensively trained & that’s what you expect if they expect you to do your job properly. However, you need to decide if you want to be part of an undisciplined mob, as you post that you need the job, or you may need to consider to look for something else where they treat their employees with respect & encourage them to be part of a successful & productive team. Of course that doesn't happen often where there's badly trained staff. No one else can make this decision for you as you are solely in charge of your own life. Yes, it could be first job nerves, but when you mention your mental health possibly being compromised then it's basically a no brainer to look after number one first & foremost. Regardless, best of luck with your career.

Hello Alxis812, I'm not sure if it would be helpful to know, but sometimes it's the passage of time itself that makes things work out. Going through the motions, faking it til you make it, repetition, running into different situations and experiences... I guess it all does add up in the long run. I will tell you the job I miss the most wasn't all roses at first. It took about a year and a half at that retail position before things started falling into place for me. I guess I sort of felt thrown to the wolves a bit, too. When I was hired on I was a temp, working in the grocery department, and I got to work around the other crew members when they were there in the mornings, so things started off okay. After I got laid off and hired back on, I only got to see those coworkers for the last hour of their shift, and then was mostly on my own the rest of the evening. I remember it got frustrating because I always liked having someone to go to for direction, and I couldn't always find that - actually, most of the time it was really hard to find a manager in the store when you needed one back then. For much of that first year, I got stuck doing re-shops. And I was horrible at it because there were rarely enough scanner devices available for me to get one and find the home locations of products on the shelves. It reached a point where re-shops were piling up, and I spent a good hour or two just trying to sort out the stuff I was familiar with into empty carts. Gradually I was becoming familiar with aisles and products, but a lot of products still threw me for a loop - mostly these ended up being odd items we didn't normally carry, that were left over from old side-caps and seasonal bins. It discouraged me a lot, but what I didn't realize was that I was getting really familiar with all of the grocery aisles and the normal products we did regularly get in on the trucks. That knowledge came in handy when the managers started sending me back to help the crew unload trucks whenever they were short-handed. It wasn't immediate, but after a few times of being placed on the unloading line, I started to notice that I knew the grocery section better than anyone in the backroom, and could separate stuff out even better than the unloaders could. And sometimes the aisle labels on different products were wrong, or the system they used for grouping things by aisle didn't work out as well as just knowing what something was closest to. I was never 100% perfect at it, I didn't know where every single thing went for sure, but I learned from being out on the floor doing re-shops so much. Eventually I got offered a position on the unloading team and took it. Can I say things were immediately better from that very moment? Not at all. But with time it definitely got better. Maybe your situation will be similar?

I can appreciate your issue, you need a job - the money is useful - so decidin to stick it out It is not what you want but, cash is king. The general rule is, decide where you want to work, then work there. It is that simple. I don`t know your skills, area of expertise ... Though you, will find a way. Do what you have got to do to, be where you want to be. You may need to step back, down to get there - but it is part of the plan

Slow progress is, still progress