Should I go on vacation with my in-laws?

I have been married for 13 years, and during that time I've had many years of conflict* with my in-laws (parents and siblings). For the past few years, we have (for the most part) been polite and see each other during Christmas (we live in different states). During our entire relationship, though, none of my in-laws have ever tried to get to know me. No one in the family has ever even texted me outside of the "Happy birthday" message on my birthday, and my FIL only messaged me three times on LinkedIn for the first 8 years of our marriage. Now, here's the predicament. My in-laws are planning a family vacation one year from now. They are already sending people in the family reservation details and asking for trip confirmations. First, I think this is too early to know if we're available during that time. But more importantly, I already know I don't want to go on this trip. After 13 years of marriage, our relationship is, at best, awkward work acquaintances, and I don't want to spend my vacation time making small chat and doing activities geared around the golden child and her family. I also don't think me attending will strengthen or build new relationships with the family, either. Instead, I think it's just more opportunities for conflict to arise. What should I do? I've already told my husband that I'm comfortable with him going without me, if he wants to. If he doesn't, I know that I'll be blamed for keeping him away from the family. I also feel stuck, because the trip is being planned so far ahead (not an international trip) that I feel like I don't have any good polite excuses for not going. *Conflict includes racist and classist comments (I'm from both a different race and much lower economic background than them); as well as public humiliation (yelling) without apologies; excluding me from Christmas and birthday gifts (although, once my MIL did send me a chocolate bar that had already had a bite in it for my birthday); and going to my parents and grandparents to try and get me to comply with what they want.

If they don't/can't respect you, then they can't expect you to respect them. Respect is a two way street & too many people just expect it to happen because of who they are. Your in laws are actually disrespecting their son as well by treating you the way they do, but then people like your MIL & FIL wouldn't understand that. Your only option is stay well away from any family vacation simply because it'll be an exhausting exercise for you whether you take it up to the family or you just sit there & be polite. Look after yourself & let your husband go if he wants. He's basically been 'keeping the peace' all these years anyway.