Living with a separated but married man
I have been in a 5 month relationship with a man who is married but separated. We met back in june of this year and when we first met everything was wonderful. I saw him every single day, when even spent every night together. He was living at his cousins house for the moment he told me that he and his wife had been separated for a year and a half. They have 2 kids together and he is very active in the kids lives. Well this september we just moved in together and now im 3 months pregnant but he still has a very close knit relationship with is wife and kids and it causes insecurities for me. My fear is that i dont know if he will go back to her because i question why havent they divorced if theyve been separated for a year and a half. My suspicion is that they recently separated when i met him and maybe called themselves taking some time off. I guess he probably didnt plan to fall in love with me, move in with me and get me pregnant. His wife does know of all of this. His daughter just had a birthday party in Poconno Mountain, pa and he stayed the night up there with them. He told me it was to be with his daughter for her birthday and even though there were other kids there i believe it was wrong to spend the night with the wife. I am not sure what to do someone please help???
I can respond to part of this and tell you I can relate. I am in a relationship with someone who won't even get off his butt to print out the divorce papers his ex emailed him even though he considers himself separated and claims he hasn't had any feelings for his wife for well over three years and vice versa; I saw emails and posts on FB that say otherwise. In my situation, I think the same as you, that he was with his wife until shortly before meeting me. And I too am afraid I am just a fling right now (or maybe I'm just convenient because he is staying with me) and eventually I am going to come home one day and he will be gone, back in the cozy perfect little house with the wife. I can well relate to the insecurities that you are feeling, when my boyfriend drives to his ex's house to see the kids (and unfortunately she is there as well), I would love to fly into a blind rage. I personally would be furious if my boyfriend spent the night anywhere his ex is as well, I would think something strange is going on. I also wouldn't accept it. I totally agree with you, it IS wrong to spend the night and I feel that is also disrespecting you. =( Other arrangements could have easily been made. Have you talked to him about it at all? Noted, I don't have kids and don't know to what length a parent will go to be around their daughter for her birthday, but as said, other arrangements could have easily been made. Is anything being done to proceed with the divorce? Papers filed, etc????
i think this situation is clear. say that you no longer can feel hidden, and either he comes clean to his ex that he's moved on with a new life, new woman, and new baby, and that he is still there for their kids, or i would tell him leave. He will do this, and out of respect for you, you need this. also, this will make sure his ex won't been too fond of getting back together with him...