Distancing from friends

I'm a young person, I had a best friend in primary, when we went to different secondary schools we grew apart, slowly, different friends, as time went by we barely saw each other anymore. I went through some bad cycles through secondary - petty friends, girls who weren't good for me. They were immature and they could be mean, witchy. The four of us became three - they all "made a decision" to kick me out of their group; they all "decided" to unfriend me... I didn't have other friends, I didn't know what to do. I befriend a girl who was lovely, she took me in and treated me as an equal. I have had issues with friends, sometimes I feel so isolated, a few years... I tried to OD, I failed several times. I feel like I can't make bonds, like I don't try hard to keep them, why? Sometimes I feel like I just run from things, like I hide when things get scary. Please help?