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I have so many problems... where to start?

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Hi, this is my first post since joining. I hope I'm using this website to its proper ability. I want to get this all of my chest, I have so many problems in my life I'm hoping some people might be able to help me or relate. Just a bit of background... I am a 21 year old male, white, 5"7,135 lbs. Well I guess I'll start to rant now... (not in order from worst to least worse) 1. I am 20 years old but yet I seriously look like I'm 15... as you can imagine this is very embarrasing. People can never believe I'm 21 years old. I guess I was a late bloomer. 2. Lately I have lost the ability to make even just simple conversations with people, even my friends and family. It's like I just have nothing important to say. 3. I seem to be unlovable... probably because I can't make any conversation and I look like I'm 15. But I am 21 years old, still a virgin and have so much love to give, but no girl will love me. 4. My brother is the most awkward person you'll ever meet. He is 23, extremely shy and acts extremely weird. And I do mean weird. It literally scares me, he is going to have a rough life later on. But I haven't gotten along with him since I was about 13. I just can't stand his personality, he is always home cause he has no friends and is obsessed with weird subjects and try's to talk to me about them. My sister is 26, she has ADD pretty bad and therefore is pretty stupid. She is totally depressed and brings down our family. P.S. they both still live at home... that's right folks. 5. I'm not sure what exactly I want to do in life... I know I want to go to college or university but I don't even know what to take. It's like I don't have any real dreams. Well that's about it for now... you probably all think I'm pretty crazy now, but oh well. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I have so many problems... where to start?

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Hey, the hole thing about not looking your age that will come I was the same way as far as being "unlovable" that's not true. Do you love yourself? because you can't someone one and it's hard for someone to love you if you don't love yourself. hope that helps. p.s. try to find the good in your life! I am sure you are great.

I have so many problems... where to start?

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It sounds to me like you have a confidence problem. How lucky you are to still look 15 at 20/21 years of age! It is becoming more and more common for people to leave home at a later age in life, so having your brother and sister still living at home at the age of 23 and 26 is not something I would consider wierd. If you're having problems communicating with people outside the home, then this could stem from the fact that you may not have picked up the gift of the gab from the people you most commonly spend time with. Your brother must be up to some pretty wierd things for you to be scared... you should probably think yourself lucky that you recognise this unusual behaviour, else you yourself could have got sucked into the same lifestyle and habits. Have you not got any hobbies or things that can enrich your life? Surely there is something that you enjoy doing, and perhaps find a job in the future that ties in with this area of interest. At 21, then you have such big opportunities to do things you enjoy, and to comminicate with interesting people. When I finished college, I didn't even know what I wanted to do in life. Due to the fact I didn't know what job I would do, I went to Uni just to get a degree. When I was at Uni, then I started to understand what I might like to do at the end of the course. Now, I am happy with my job, and whilst I may not have achieved everything I might have hoped for, opportunities do come along. Having written all of the above, I look back at it, and realise that I should have just agreed with you about going to University. It is the opportunity of a lifetime whether you can afford it or not, and I'm sure that your social skills would be much improved... but I'd also make sure that I studied away from home (it's like starting a new life, with new friends, your history behind you - and no annoying brother!) Hope this helps Smitty. Let us all know how you are doing - we'll try to support you as much as we can!

I have so many problems... where to start?

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Hi there Have just read your problem, and I agree it can be pretty difficult. Please try to look on the brighter side of life. Life cannot have treated you too bad if you still look fifteen. It can be an advantage you know if you had of had kids and all of lifes problems, - would you like to look thirty five at the age of twenty one. I guess I know the answer. Try to see yourself as the representative to your family. You do well in life. When you are depressed you tend to see yourself as no better than the worst falure on the planet. If you do positive things e.g job, university etc. Your opinion of yourself will change therefore the opinion of your family will. Try not to see your family as a measurement of your own self worth, its not you know, we are all individuals. Try and you shall succeed. GOOD LUCK.

I have so many problems... where to start?

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Okay, dude, you need to realize a few things here. You want to be treated like you're 21, then ask yourself this: If you were to compare a 15 yr old to a 21 yr old, what's the difference? 1. Act more maturely, get some cool sunglasses, don't shave every day, and get out in the sun more often. 2. Read self-help literature. You have difficulty with love and women. Been there, done that. Here's what you need to do, Buy the following two books. They will help you set your life (and love life) straight: -"The Game" by Neil Strauss -"Real Men Don't Apologize" by Jim Belushi (google search for them, as I may have misspelled) 3. Just Do It! There's some truth to those Nike advertisements. Don't just sit there soaking in more of your family into your personality if that's not what you like. Just click. Imagine a big gear just shifted in your head, switching you from "stay put and unhappy" mode to "proactive and self-fullfilling" mode. If you want to discover yourself, go out and just try all kinds of new things. Just about anything that doesn't get you killed or thrown behind bars is good game. 4. Broaden Your Network. If the only people you know, you don't like, then spend more of your time with new people. The population of the world is around 6 billion people minus the asians (neither you nor I can speak chinese, taiwanese, korean, japanese and so on) so that's around 4 billion people you can meet. Just think, assuming that half are too old or too young, there's a billion females on this planet waiting for you to be their man, and a billion guys who you can be buds with. If one or two or three isn't down with you, figure out if the problem is with you or them, and if its not you, you can find new friends. Just remember. Sitting on your couch (or bed, or chair) will get you nowhere. Take action. Go NOW!

I have so many problems... where to start?

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btw u say ur 20 then 21 make ya mind up......we really feel sorry for u. being 21 and a virgin can be very embarassing.. sorry to hear.maybe a make over or a change of appearance may go along way....good luk.

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