5+ years wasted?

Five years ago i met my boyfriend through mutual friends. we fell in love quickly and moved into together after 6 months. He is my first serious relationship and was my first. Weve had a great relationship but its been fuve years and while hes made improvement from when i met him (hes more responsible, paying his bills, holding a job, etc but he continues to be so selfish. he thinks only of himself when making decisions he spends all his extra money on his cars and other hobbies often leaving me to pick up the slack on mutual bills. ive expressed what i need from him more than once and we had broken up for a month once before because of this. i just wanra be the first thought not the after thought. i want an equal partner not someone i have to manage or direct. i want more than he is willing or able to offer. i love him so much but i dont want to do this anymore. any advice on how to do this, or encouragement to move forward. i want better i deserve better.