Feels life is full of misery

Hai I am widow , having affair for short period with married men then we got separated, again unmarried came into my life past 6 months we r in love & sex too.. but he is not able to marry me due to his mother , she is against our realation.becoz i hav son too, but now i dont know wat to do.. i love him but without marriage i cant live like this.. again one more man or marriage in my life feels somewat .In my life already three mans entered in life.. if i go for another marriage 4 man will be in my life feels somewat shame on myself.so please let me know wat to do.. whether to cont with this affair for entire life or to marry another guy & settle myself. I am feeling very much fed up with this life like this all.