Troubled for ages and seeking help

I Married the man of my dreams or so I thought. I have been in love with my husband for the past 5 years. We have been married for 2 and have a kid who is 1 year old. I am 29 and its not that I am too young to even judge such things. We had an awesome 3 years together when bamn in the beginning of the third year he starts having another fling in between. We both are working for the same company and do have a lot of friends in common. The sex which was fine and amazing for the first 3 years started diminishing once this fling started. I didnt realise he was having a fling until the end of the third year. till then I kept thinking it was something i did that we didnt have the older relationship or that we didnt have the sexual passion as we did before, But then again I thought maybe work pressures and you know as people tend to get settled in a relationship they might just loose out on the sex . I had no clue till I found out. This happened when I had gone away from my town for a meeting and he came down there just to surprise me. he had gone to take a bath leaving his laptop open . I am normally not a very suspicious person but then when if at all I get a small hint I take the whole stuff apart( that is a bad habit I know ) . So he left his laptop open and also asked me to print our return tickets which were on his laptop . so when i approached i saw there right open was a chat iith another lady which didnt quite look normal. I dug up the entire history copied it to my flash drive and read the whole damn thing which is when i realised he was act having anothe fling. On confronting him he first denied but when I showed the proof he scumbed to the truth and asked for me forgiving him and all that. K now thinking that we all do make mistakes and i have had plenty of flings before this guy and knowing human instincts I forgave him and got married to him in the begining of the fourth year. Sex still contiinues to be the same and its like I have lost the guy I knew. I dont kow if this was the cos cos its been 2 years post that and its still the same. U wont beleive when I say this but during the 2 years of our marriage we have had sex 16 times. 8 times before my pregnancy , out of which 4 times we were drunk and 8 times after my delivery which is on special occasions like birthdays, anniversaries and the like. I have tried asking him whats the issue so many times but it remains vain . I have gained some weight after my delivery but weight has never been an issue for him ever. he either doesnt give me a straight reply or just shuts up . I have even tried arousing him and he just turns off and sleeps saying i am tired or sleepy or my backs paining or what not. My situation now is much worse cos he quit his job a year back although I was totally against it. He is still the breadwinner cos he has some side business going on . He meets the demands of a husband as in, he is a great father, takes his wife out for dinners, buys the grocery and stuff, everythign u name it. he is ideal in every ways except that emotional and physical contact is just zilch. he doesnt even connect with me on a emotional way . I have to bug him to go on a candle light dinner or a movie or to do something romantic , it just spoils the purpose and even if we go for dinne we r just staring at each other he doesnt talk except for maybe sometimes. I am frustrated cos i work , take care of the baby come back and do the cooking and i dont get any sex. Its frustrating. I have definitely thought of other ways cos their are a lot of men arnd ( if you know what i mean) but then I really really love this guy and I dont want to loose him . I just want to understand whats wrong.

First let me say that if they will cheat once, they WILL cheat again. Decide for yourself if that is something you are willing to deal with repeatedly. As for the slacking on responsibility, you will become resentful over it and it will just build inside you. Consume you over time. This resentment hurts you, not him. You will be miserable. Yes, there are plenty of other men. Sometimes we stay around because we are unsure of what lies beyond what we know. It is fear and insecurity that keeps us in a situation like this (and we all have these feelings to an extent). So, what I would say is map out a 5 yr plan. Where do you want to be in 5 years? Write down a list of things you want to accomplish to get you there. Can he be an instrumental part in assisting you to achieve your goals? Is he just dead weight? Go with your gut feelings. Our internal compass rarely steers us wrong.