Relationship - just want someone to talk to

I have been in a very happy relationship for the past year, I have a male friend who was away in Iraq so i wrote him a letter with the full knowledge of my partner, after a couple he started getting funny over them, so I thought rather than upset him i will have my friend write to my works address. Nothing but normal friendship talk in letters and i put them in a section of my bag and thought no more of it. 2 weeks ago when we had been out for a few drinks but my partner said the odd thing that made me think he didnt trust me, eventually i got to the bottom of it and he said for the past 2 months he had known about my letter (there was only 1 sent to my work address) and it had been eating him up that i had hidden it from him etc etc. I told him that i had done this because i hadnt wanted to upset him over being in contact with my friend but he said it had hurt him so much. Now he doesnt seem to trust me and i know i havent "done" anything untoward. He also said he opened one of my letters that came to the house from my friend but wont tell me what was in it. (There has never been anything sexual between my friend and i but we served in the Army for 10years together and became very good friends and i live over 600 miles away from him). In one way i am so angry that he looked through my bag and opened a letter but on the other hand i just wish i had never got intouch with my friend) Now he will always have a distrust that i hide things from him and i feel so upset that i have caused this problem. I just wish we could get back to the way we were. My partner is 14 years older than me and i know he worries that i will up and leave him for a younger man. No one that i can feel i can really talk to so came on this site looking for a shoulder to cry on really.

This seems like something that he will get over eventually. He is probably feeling threatened right now, but it's not your fault. It's his own insecurity that is causing him to act this way. Once he sees that you are still with him and nothing has changed, he will be o.k. The only thing I would worry about is sometimes when people accuse and assume that you are doing something, they might be up to something themselves. Hopefully this is not the case, personally I was in a very jealous and controlling relationship for a long time and eventually found out that the guy had cheated on me a few times, so it made sense that he assumed I did things like that. I think you should ignore his jealous behavior and show him how rediculous he is acting, that should make him realize what a jerk he is being for no reason.