So depressed, wish I could just leave

I hate being in this marriage.I dated my husband for almost 8 years before marrying him.Unfortunately being young,naïve and stupid,I thought I was inlove and didn't see him for who he really is.just before we got married,he cheated on me and it wasn't the first time.but then I fell pregnant and we got married and I thought that he would never do it again.He is the worst thing that could have ever happened to me.I was a staunch Christian and stayed at home and cooked and cleaned and he shouldn't even come home in the weekends.It was really depressing as I was young and married with a baby and alone.....I could go on and on.I just need someone to help me.Thank you for reading

I really feel for you. I can relate. You can't go on like that, it doesn't get any better. Have you two talked about anything? Does it help? You have to look out for yourself. Your child feels what you feel, I have learned they are very intuitive, more than we realize sometimes. I realize, things are easier said than done, I am in a marriage I don't want to be in, and I haven't left yet, what's holding me back, I'm not sure. But just remember you deserve happiness too, you're worth it.

Thank you so much for responding.For 4 years I kept to who I was,not going anywere and I never consumed alcohol.During that time,he use to bring friends home early parts of the morning,like 1 or 2 in the morning.They all use to be drunk.He should never tell me that he's not coming home.He use to switch his phone off.Then we moved to a beach flat which I thought was my dream come true.Not long after living there,he began an affair with the receptionist.So I started going out and drinking,thinkining that maybe now that I'm doing what he is that he will change or not go out and leave me alone.At this time I was unsure of the affair.Then it was confirmed,he didn't come home onw night and it was only the Lord that told me to go down to a certain floor in the building,and there he was coming out of her flat after not coming home for the night.My dream became a nightmare.It didn't stop there and we moved and he took my cusin to her flat,1 night and my cousin told me when I pretended to him as if I had already known.He told me how this lady kissed him when he entered and how they slept in the same room.My gosh typing this,breaks my heart.I don't know why I am staying

maybe coz u love him thats y ur still there... talk to him about this. its hard to do. i know coz i also have been there. pride and fear to know the truth keep u from doing this. but u have to be strong coz its the only way that u can clear all the questions on ur mind. including if he still wants u and ur kids.

I have spoken to him but he's a pathological liar.The thing is that I cannot forget what he has done cos when I saw her jump out of the front of our car 1 evening and my sister went up to her and swore her for having an affair with him cos he's married,he was more concerned about his mistress being sworn then me,HIS WIFE.I was hurt and broken,yet he ignored me and how I felt but swore my sister for swearing his girlfriend.

So what are you waiting for ? for life to pass you by while you try to pretend its not happening ? This man will not change ...get thinking about what you have to do to get out of this relationship otherwise in 10 years time you will be still in the same place and regretting the wasted years...i know its not easy but start making plans for independence . I have been in a similar position and know how hard it is...but it wont get better or easier...and the sooner you leave the less you will damage your child

Thank you Solan for responding.I am working but right now,I am afraid to move because financially things will be difficult and I don't want to rush off,only to find myself coming back.There isn't anything stable right now and you are right I need to leave.I am just waiting for the right time and for the courage to let go for good

I hope you are okay, take one day at a time. I would be mad as hell too. Clear some mental space and start making lists, what you need , what you are taking, what you want to replace, for when you move! Lay away plans at stores are perfect for times like these. When I was in the process of leaving my ex he had no clue. I had 5 lay aways going, and a house. I picked out new furniture , beds, linens, dishes etc, I even got a lot from the thrift store! It can be done a little at a time. Once you accumulate everything you need. You will be better in no time. There is healing in the feeling of Independance!!! I left a 17 yr relationship with nothing and now I am better than I ever been because its all mine. Pick your head up, clear your mind of hurt for a moment, shop, and repeat!!! Hugs!!

Thank you so much rubbicon for responding to my messages.I can only imagine what you must have been going through to leave a 17 year marriage.I guess I will have to build up my courage and get a better paying job and leave.I really appreciate the advice.