Internet friends to love to moving in overnight

i have been long distance internet friends with Max for a decade (we're in our twenties now and met randomly in a chatroom). i was into him very early on but did not pursue it at all for complicated reasons- my girl pride, the distance, other relationships, etc. I just never told him how i felt. Max would sporadically disappear several times over the years, always to return with his tail between his legs citing that he'd been enduring life obstacles that he was embarrassed to share with me (poverty,abuse, changes to family structure etc). i never really thought he was being cruel or selfish or dishonest. I always understood he left because his history made intimacy difficult for him. about one year into our friendship, i asked him to meet me and this spurred one of his first disappearances, which i now know was because he was afraid i would reject him if we ever met. this pattern took place for the next 8 years; the cycle of him returning, us getting close, me asking him to meet me, and him disappearing. it became disillusioning and hurtful after a while, but i never lost the desire to meet him. Last summer, he finally decided to come meet me. I don't know what convinced him, but it was a really happy but platonic experience. He was very timid and it was clear to me he couldn't handle the physical or emotional vulnerability i'd been craving. I accepted it and just really enjoyed his friendship for a week. even though it was a little awkward, i still felt we profoundly clicked. when he went home we began to communicate much more intensely, for hours every day. I broached the subject of seeing him again often, and he seemed open to it but also still a little hesitant. around christmas, he finally agreed that I should come see him in the summer. this spurred me to confess my feelings, and my concern that they might develop stronger if I were to see him again. to my surprise, he said he liked me too, and had just been denying his feelings out of insecurity/fear of rejection. Neither of us were sure how this would play out for us, because he had never been in a physical relationship before because of his history and neither of us were sure if he ever would want that. when I went to see max, we instantly jumped headfirst into a relationship. by my third day in his state we had confessed our love for each other. by day five he asked me to be his girlfriend. by the end of the week, he had conclusively agreed to move in with me at the end of the summer. It turns out kissing didn't gross him out so much after all. he agreed to move away from his family. move to a new city penniless without a college degree, to live with a girl he'd spent a couple weeks with. it seems crazy but the distance (650 miles) and our poverty makes a long distance relationship unfeasible. we've known each other too long to be satisfied with long distance, which is pretty much what we'd been doing all along. I'm somewhat experienced in relationships but I am his first real girlfriend. i'm pretty confident about his undying loyalty, he's pretty clingy actually. but we are poor, and we aren't very good at making friends, and we can be pretty codependent, and we don't fully know each other's habits. Also, he comes from poverty and I was raised middle class (now that I'm done school and beginning a career in human services, I'm getting poor too, but our backgrounds are something that people perceive as a recipe for disaster. I really appreciate his background and he doesn't seem to feel challenged by mine or anything.) Anyway, I can see the possible concerns we could have about the future, but i feel like our love, history, and connection have a chance of surviving these obstacles. we have similar values and are both really family oriented. Also, i have spent a total of one month with him this summer (i was able to because I'd just finished school and took a long break), but now I am working. So we have spent a month together at least now; it's short but its a lot better than a week. I'm not really asking if i should do this, because i deliberated about it from march to june before I proposed it and have deliberated since and I'm certain. I guess I'm just asking your advice. we are skipping courting and moving straight in, something I have never done before. we can't afford two bedrooms, we're pretty much going to be together most of the time. how can we protect our separate identities, maintain our loving feelings, and have a relationship that evolves as healthily as possible under the constraints I have outlined? how do we not take each other for granted? what should we set rules/boundaries about immediately? what conversations about the future should we have, or should we just go with the flow? any advice on how to encourage our relationship and selves to thrive would be appreciated. i have met his family and love them. he has not met my family yet but he will love them because they are awesome.

wow. your story sounds so surreal.. even your title was something to think about. i would just like to ask, is this what you really want? to move in with this guy? clearly this guy has been going through a lot of things going on for the past 10 years. but i had to account that you were in your teens when you met, and probably went through some puberty stage when meeting other people was something uncomfortable. think about a lot of things before you jump (in the pan or into the fire?)... what are your reasons for moving in together? do you feel that you know himself well enough to trust him with your life? because really, we are talking about living in together. and the consequences will be big. your space. your emotional well being. your finances. your future. think about it well and hard. dont fast track your life. get to know him in real life first, give it a couple of months. by then, you would be able to know if you like him well enough to share a towel/toothbrush with him. :)