Breaking up

My boyfriend broke up with me yesterday. We've known each other for one and a half years, with already 4 breakups since then - the last one lasted 7 months. But yesterday's breakup seems final as he said he couldn't find himself getting married. We had already agreed on a wedding date, and we were planning our wedding for next year. He said whenever he's dating a girl, he'd become fed up after one month or so, and he's scared he's going to lose his independence when committed. He even finds going out with each other on weekend (we don't see each other during the week) is too much for him; one day out of a fortnight would be more than enough for him. Of course, I want more and I'm not ready to accept such arrangement. I know I won't hope for a reconciliation this time. But I realize I love him so much. I've been crying since his call yesterday. I tell myself I am strong enough to move one, but yet I keep crying. Although I knew this was coming, and I've armored my heart against any possible breakup, the pain is so strong. I feel desperate, rejected, unloved and very much sad, and angry because I let myself love so much. I've got no one to talk to - it feels better to write all this down.

It sounds like he is a commitment-phob and needs more time. He might not be matured enough to want to settle down and have a family even though you guys discussed getting married. It also, being the way he is, could have freaked him out because he doesn't know what the future holds. Try to hold your head up and gain more independence because even if he ends up with you it seems like he will want his independence and space too. Figure out if your willing to make that compromise too. I that arrangement doesn't work for you then find out what does. But over all he just may not be ready for a long-standing or month long commitment to anyone right now.