Don't know if I'm coming or going, trust issue, falling out of love

This is the 2nd marriage of my husband together.he divorced left and found another woman while new in the US. The woman and him didn't go well on where they broke up. Tried to move on so I was dating a guy, husband wants me back and won me over my bf. decided to work on for the sake of the kids. During our 4 years of marriage the second time this was the third time found online flirting first and second was when his recruiter and the kids were just supporting their future soldier friends so they go to their office & was never a stalker to my husband. We tried counseling and forgave him again. But the deep inside trust is so ruined so I was being wise, went to school got a career. We r also incompatible but I tried to fit in his needs/desire without expecting any return. Recently he got deployed even though I feel empty inside I'm striving to be a good wife to him. My temporary happiness would be to feel better myself and going out once in awhile with friend. I meet this guy together with his friends and because we fellow citizen (Filipino ) the bond get close same as others. We started of friends although he has crush on me, he knows Im married so he respected. It never my intension that later on I would fall for him but I tried so hard fighting against my feelings, but he got me on how he just try to be genuinely nice guy. We talked about our life and realized that we had the same in commen, about the cheating spouse that's why he divorced his x. He tried to believe me that not all men cheat. I have trust issue about "cheating"since childhood even how my parents were. That's why it's been awhile to just put my self to the safe side "being a realistic /practical person" but I was falling for him so bad and tried so hard on how many times I always want to shut off everything about us cuz I don't want to jeopardize my family until I found my husband flirting again for the third time. It's his private and they're both there even he said that its only flirting but how he would tell me that his rank would go back to private if I would tell his chain if command. So I withdraw & told my self why would I fight when someone couldn't careless when others was trying to me the way I deserve, I started seeing more of this guy and my husband didn't say or make a move to save me until he saw me with another guy, now his fighting to save our marriage. I just don't know if his sincere or not and on why didn't make a move till he saw Im falling to another man. Im struggling because I am also having a trust issue and such a realistic person, this guy haven't prove me wrong that not all guys cheat, he has always the right words and action to say. But at the same time I'm afraid he'll hurt me in the future. Than going back with my husband cuz it wouldn't hurt as much if he did it again.

Please I need anyone's input of this, thank you