Family & business do not mix

I have been fighting for justice all of my life. There are so many areas that I see to help others. I want to make a difference and become one who fights for truth. If there is anyone out there who has a story of injustice please share it with us. Also, if anyone knows a way to help solve a problem that you read in our blog, take a risk,show some compassion for a fellow human being. Join the ones who can & will make a difference. Some of my past crusades have been fighting for a good education for Children With Learning Disabilities; Trying to get help to change the legal system and flush out frivolous lawsuits that are so costly to the victim; Financial Elder Abuse by Families; Physical therapy & exercize for children with Learning Disabilities - Founder coordinator.I have been involved with my own business (Interior Design & Remodeling) for many years. Even though I have not practiced it for 1.5 yrs., it is still a passion. View my complete profile Choose Your Baby's Gender Boy or Girl? Have it Your Way! Complete Guide to Model Trains Learn & save on Model Trains Picky Eaters Great recipes to entice your Picky eater Pit Bull Training Foolproof Ways to train your dog Home Interiors by Joni Decorating Problems Solved Blog Archive ? 2008 (3) ? February (3) Angels Disguised A Strange Encounter Life Destroyed by adult children It was October 1, and we were so excited. We were finally leaving to go to California to be with my son & his family. Tony and I have been anxiously awaiting this day for a year and a half. During this time, Jill would constantly call either Tony or me and say, when are you guys coming out, we need you. That took place at least once a week. We thought it would take us only 6 months to sell our homes and business and take care of loose ends, but the market was so bad just then that nothing was selling. So finally one and a half years later, we are on our way. We invested in two coffee shops with my son and his wife. She was running them along with his help until we were able to come out. The first one, I invested in by myself while in Illinois, I never asked for any money because I was not there working. I wanted them to be comfortable and not worry about getting me any money. I knew that once I got out there, then all would be good. The second shop we bought while there on one of our many trips & found it right on the Pier of the Pacific. I fell in love with it. We went back to Illinois and Phil and Jill took care of the sale. We sent them the closing costs & all of the money by wire transfer. We made out an agreement that we each would have 50% ownership in the shops. Phil would continue working at his job and Jill, Tony and I would run the shops. This would not be their primary source of income. Once we were here, we would then incorporate the shops, Tony would then take care of the accounting & books, with Jill's help. We were to change bank accounts and put Tony's name on the account. While still in Illinois, we made several trips to work in the shops. One of those trips was for Phil and Jill to go out of town. So we tended to the stores. We arrived in California all excited and happy. Tony was thrilled to have finally found a “family.” He loved Phil, Jill and of course, Ricky. Being that Tony was not Phil's father, that was thrilling to me. Our first few months were absolute heaven. I tried to learn as much as I could with the stores doing the daily chores, and marketing them as much as I could. This was supposed to be my responsibility from the beginning. I made dinner for them almost every night so that they could save money and not have to go out to eat every day. We helped with Ricky, driving him to school, picking him up and taking him to all of his practices. Our life was very full and happy. However, we began to be concerned,because each time we brought up the idea of doing the things that we originally talked about with the business the subject was dropped or there was one excuse after the other as to why it could not be done. Sometime in March, Tony tried to pin Phil down and ask when we would get to do the things we were to do with the business, and really make a stand at getting a salary for all the work we were doing. Phil said Jill was the one who refused to give us anything. She said we deserved nothing. It was impossible to even talk to Jill, so all of Tony’s efforts were with Phil. Each time he met with him, Phil would talk for hours about how bad Jill is, that she is lazy, doesn’t want to work, takes a nap every day, the house is a mess, he has to clean it and on and on. He again tried in April, May, June……… Each time the conversation went the same way. Phil condemned Jill for being the one holdout and refusing to cooperate. He continually complained on how horrible she was to live with and he probably should get a divorce. He tried to offer some compensation of money to us,like running a BBQ. He would run it and we could keep the profits. So reluctantly we accepted. It made us feel like hired help. Eventually, we ended up running the B_B_Q. However, Jill resented that very much and she made things extremely difficult. I was still doing my marketing for the stores and in doing so became pretty friendly with some of the city council members and other people in various Societies. My picture appeared in the paper on several occasions as the co-owner of the stores. This sent Jill into orbit. That is when she started her smear campaign against me. She talked against me to all of the employees and that made things very uncomfortable to even go inside my own stores. The stress was becoming intolerable. Tony ended up in the hospital having open heart surgery. He was hospitalized for 6 weeks. Even then the attacks never stopped. Jill did not care about anyone but herself. Jill assaulted me in a local restaurant and pub in front of many people that we were friendly with. She began screaming at me, at which time, Tony came by me and said let’s go. She would not let me leave. She grabbed my arm, at which time, Tony got in between us thinking she would hit me. She followed us to the car and grabbed hold of the window continuing to scream obscenities at me. Phil finally pushed her hard away from the car and we drove off. This was the third and worst incident between us where she viciously attacked me. Her arguments were all based on situations that I had while in Illinois 20 years earlier. However, they were very exagerated and seen from her misguided perspective. None of these things had anything to do with our contract and what was going on today. She accused me of giving them nothing during their marriage. That was a ball faced lie. Wheter I did or not also, is my business not hers. Besides, I gave them $40,000. downpayment on their home, another $20,000. for taxes they owed. All this while they were earning in excess of $200,000. per year. I now believe, they decided the shops were theirs and we were intruders. They wanted them all to themselves, even though the agreement we made was in black and white, and we had more than 50% of the money invested. In the beginning, Phil was (or seemed to be) on our side. He even agreed to go to a counselor to try to straighten up this mess. The counselor told me that she does not believe I have anything to do with this problem. It is hers Jill'S and she is creating a triangle, pulling me into it, which is very common. I told the counselor of her house (never a home). It is complete chaos: there are rooms you cannot even walk into. Her accounting system for the stores consists of a 10 x 10 ft. area in the living room strewN with paper bags filled with money, receipts and file folders. The garage reeks with garbage; there is laundry all over the floor, it is both clean and soiled. If she needs something to wear, the clean and dirty clothes go back into the washer. Their son, who is 15 and an unbelievably great kid refuses to bring friends into the house. He stays out and is never home. The counselor told me the exterior is manifested from what lies within. We all believe she is a sick puppy. She had gorgeous, very expensive clothes which Phil bought for her: $1,000.00 suits, fabulous leathers, jewelry, etc. They are all gone, either lost or ruined on the garage floor. THIS IS WHO IS RUNNING THE BUSINESS. They breached the contract. Not allowing us access to the accounting, not putting our name on any paperwork,, not incorporating the business, and above all, neither of them went to work. It was to be their second income not their primary one. Phil was to work in a position of very high income (much more than he could make at the stores).Now, we are paying for their lifestyle. In the year and a half of our being out here, running around, doing chores and working very hard in the business, trying to negotiate terms with them as well as money, we have made no headway. We are young seniors who thought this would be a great way to keep busy as well as offer us some retirement income. We have tried every possible avenue without going into a lawsuit (which we would win). A lawsuit would only destroy the businesses as well as our lives, plus be extremely expensive (which we cannot afford)and time consuming. We have hired an attorney who is trying to negotiate with them, terms of a sale, so that they could buy us out, because we can no longer work under these adverse conditions. They have agreed to buy us out only if we financed the balance on a land contract, which our attorney advises against it because they could easily default. We have now lost our son,our grandson, our future and our retirement nest egg. Needless to say it has torn the hearts out of us. The days and nights that I have spent crying, depressed and literally ill are huge. We are both under doctor's care for depression, anxiety attacks, and stomach ailment due to the pressure and heartbreak of this awful situation. No matter how it ends, we will all lose. If anyone can comment, offer advice, or give us another alternative for assistance we would be very grateful. Tony & Julie

Listen to your lawyer's wise advice. Pursue the lawsuit and get whatever financial compensation you can while the business is still viable. Who knows if the girl will drive it into the ground just for spite. Tell your son that this is nothing personal...that you do have to live and eat and seeing as his wife and himself aren't passing on your fair share, that you have no other option but to sue. Let your grandson know that the door is ALWAYs open to him..he's old enough to know what's going on here and I don't think they can poison him. Cut your losses....yes you worked hard and you want that acknowledged by your son and his wife, both by word and money...but hun, that ain't gonna happen. You still have plenty of life left to live, don't waste it on people that would stoop this low...even if they are related by blood. Get your stuff together and forge a new life with Tony. By the sounds of things you have a flair with business...why not start over again with something that is all yours? You have the contacts and know-how. It's awfully hard to swallow, but if you want peace of mind and to salvage your life, you have to move past this. My best wishes to you and Tony...much, much luck. :)