Conflicted

I'm on this site because I have no where to turn to. In a nut shell I'm caught between the hardest decision. I'm a good tenderhearted person with a lot of baggage. I'm married and I have been together with my husband for tten yrs but married five. I have a son from a first marriage. My husband raised him he is eleven now. But we have had our share of problems and we both had baggage we brougjt in the relationship. I felt unhappy most of the time and I always bottled up everything. He lasbes out. We are complete opposites well about two yrs ago I left him swore I was done moved up north while still married I mezsed around with someone. I regreted it and went back to my husband. He begged me back and said it would really wor. We got really good counseling. I even stopped talkinv to .y family for two yrs but it got worse. We started fighting again. So five months ago I left him again after trying for two years I filed for divorce and met someine else. I got pregnant. Mean while I still had contact with my husband I told him everything. I don't know why. My boyfriend us five yrs younger than me he us 24.I was going strong but then I started to realize obe say I still loved my husband. And want to go back. He never stopped reaching out to me even though I was with another and pregnant. I was blown away.I went back about a week ago to my husband and broke up withy boyfriend I loved the time with my husband. But he said that he will raise the twins that I am pregnant with like his own.but the father can't be involved. He saw a lawyer and was told by law the twins father has no rights because I got pregnant in my marriage so technically my hhsban has rights. I pleaded with him to let the father be involved and he says no and that he can't have another man In Our marriage. So needless to say after that I left again because I felt bad knowing the father would not see his kids and went ba k with my boyfriend again. But I'm so unhappy. I still miss my husband. Please help me. I cry all the time. I'm depressed and I have no idea what to do.

go with the first and give sole cust to the second man because the kids are his ,always stay faithful to someone u love,its wrong to stop the other mans rights as dad