I messed up

For almost a year now, I've been in love with my best friend. I moved across the country to see him, and now live with him. I thought the feelings were not mutual. For a while, it was just me and him together all the time. We would cuddle in the morning, play games/ watch things together at night. It was great. Then he started pulling away from my touch. He would tell me to stop if I started rubbing his leg, or touched his face, or got too close in general. I figured he didn't have the same feelings for me as I did him... I started trying to get over him. We were moving the other day, and he had a coworker come help us. His coworker came onto me and we ended up having sex in the bathroom while my friend was waiting for us to finish moving. Now he is so upset, a grown man nearly in tears, vomiting, comparing himself to him, and I've lost his trust. He feels like he is nothing, and is so hurt. It turns out he does have feelings for me. He was pulling away because he was scared of feeling those things. I feel so disgusted with myself. Today marks three days of me not being able to keep food down, or look in the mirror because I am so disgusted with myself. I just keep crying and throwing up. I hurt him so badly, if I had known he cared for me, I wouldn't have done what I did. I don't even remember the details of what happened, I just know I hate for it. WHAT DO I DO?

just messed up,get out of this.it wont work now.its awkward .