Love like Penguins.

My problem is that I've only ever loved two people. One of them I married, and the other one I never seem to have gotten over. One's a guy (the one I married) and the other's a girl. I've known both of them since I was, like, sixteen. I dated the girl first. It was just kind of a fun experiment, but in the years later we had this really weird friendship where we'd go years without contact and then all of a sudden we'd dive right back into things. The last time I saw her was in my second year of university. She contacted me randomly and I was ready for a fun hang-out. Then she picked me up and suggested we rent a movie then go back to my room and I was caught off-guard and cut the evening short. We haven't spoken since. Now, after years of not really thinking about her, I find myself suddenly searching her on Facebook. I don't even have Facebook! But I still got those same girly, complicated tingles as usual. Why am I being like this? I let most people go without a second thought. I'm sure my medicine is closure (that's what my husband suggested when I finally told him about my weirdness), but how do I even go about getting that? Time clearly didn't heal all wounds, and this girl and I never had the most...normal friendship.

I'm bisexual too. Its so hard. I have almost the same relationship with this woman. She was the first girl I ever had sex with, but she is bat shit crazy. I can only see her about one a year, for one night. Sometimes you have to either deal with heartbreak, or open yourself up. You should tell her how you really feel.

At least, I guess, the girl I like isn't crazy. She's more like a scary copy of me (and that's actually how we met; my friends and her friends were like, "you two are the same" which led to weirdness once we got closer). That's why I know it would never have worked out, and also why I keep imagining that it will and getting these feelings! Thanks for the reply! It makes me feel a bit better knowing I'm not the only one who's like this.