What am i??

i have bn wiv my partmer for 9 years and married for 3.we have 2 children together.just bfor me and my husband got married he was offered a job workin abroad in which he took.he then asked should we get married quickly as he could put our name down on the list for me and our 2 children to move abroad wiv him.so wiv in 11 weeks we were married and out names put on the marrital quarter list.it was 2 years down the line of me being at home looking after our 2 children the house and working full time that i met sumone and this sumone was a friend of mine and a real good friend of my husband.our friend was a lesbian in which we had no problems wiv being good friends wiv her.whilst my husband was working away we got really close and bfor we knew it we were always togetber shoppin eating out socializing together.we really felt happy together and wen we wernt together we hated it.for 7 months we hid our relentionship untill one night i told my husband what had bn going on.me and my friend had discussed me leavin my husband and being a couple.but as my mum and dad found out they said tbey would have never accepted my relentionship wiv here so me and my husband deceided to ot give our relentionship another chance.not long after our house came up on the marital quarters abroad.i have lived out ere for the last 9 months but not a day goes by wen i dont think about her i dream about her.i honestly dont no wat to do.i really miss her soooo much.my husband has told me im not allowed any co tact wiv her but i miss her.