Found out boyfriend was sexting another girl on his phone

Hello, I am a 19 year old female who is dating a 19 year old male and we are close to being together for a year now. Well tonight I discovered through text on the 16th of October he had been sexting with another girl. They had wrote what they would sexually do together, my bf asked what type of knickers she was wearing and she was saying that they should meet up to have sex. I was very hurt and upset when I discovered the messages and read through them one at a time. I didn't cry, but I was shaking. Luckily the last text between them was in October, but I discovered he had been messaging a ex and one message was my bf saying to her that he loved her accent, which showed they had chatted on the phone, but he asked her if she had a bf and when she said no and asked him he said no too, but she said on fb he was in a relationship and he said we weren't really together. He has both girls on fb, as I have checked and what hurts is that they obviously know I exist. I should have instantly confronted my boyfriend, but I didn't as he has anger problems and I had to pretend everything was normal. I felt sick when my bf started to kiss me and I felt nothing but sorrow I was close to crying. The thing is my bf told me at the start of our relationship was that he gets urges because his past relationships were only 3 months long. He said he might get urges but he would never cheat on me, but after reading those texts I'm unsure. I need advice as to what I should do. Should I take a break from him and when I'm ready confront him? Should I wait and check his phone to see if he recently does it again? I'm sorry this note is so long, but I need advice I haven't told any friends or family, as I don't want to cause any fights or have any of them hate him. When we are together his sweet, affectionate and shows his love to me, but if u loved someone why would u do something to ruin the relationship? I'm so confused and I'm going crazy thinking about it. I have never been in a situation like this. Please help me :( thank you.

I'm a pretty blunt person so this is gonna be a blunt message. You stated he warned you at the beginning of the relationship that he gets "urges but would never cheat on you." well, i dont know any person alive that doesn't get "urges" its how we handle them that is important. He can also promise anything in the world and the promise is nothing more than a series of vocal noises that we can make. A promise to me is when someone backs up those vocal noises through actions. Unless I have evidence of their loyalty I can only assume their words mean what they say. Should I have evidence to the contrary (which you do) I would differ to the children's fable of the "Scorpion and the Frog" Until he no longer feels it necessary to give warning as if he is not in control of himself, then he is what he will be. A lair and a player. (didn't keep his promise of not cheating which i consider sexting cheating) unable to maintain loyalty to one. (consider the fact that he himself said openly "We are not really together" that alone goes back to the meaning of words. So which is it? obviously his guttural sounds that formed into a promise mean nothing. Even to the other girl.) Ask yourself the very last question you asked. "If u loved someone why would u do something to ruin the relationship?" Do you really need someone to answer this for you? Now, this is my other side. Stand up for yourself. Don't be another victim for someone to pity. Save yourself future pain, gather your self confidence and rise above him. While your on the computer check out how many people live in this world and what piece of land you live on and realize just how small your community is. He is one guy... just consider the possibilities of you not finding a guy another that is better. Hope I helped

actually i am in this same situation of yours...atleast you found him cheating but i dint find him cheating me....you you what he said finally when he decided to break up with suddenly that i am not a good girl and longed to speak with him just for sex and this sex chat...i love him deep from and always will be true to him and even told my first love to him as i want to be true to him but he pointed that and said very easily like its easy for me to move from one to another and why am i still fighting to move away from him also he said just find another sure you will get after speaking all about how we will have sex and very deep about that he used to call me his wife but now he says that i black mailed him so he acted....see how my life is....please dont believe him its my very kind advice i dont want you to be in my situation...i dont want any girl to be in my situation i know the pain which you are suffering...he is a cheater...even my parents without understanding my pain they are thinking to marry to me to someone soon after this....please sister go away from instead of living with a cheater pain itself is a better one....

now a days its very easy for people to cheat in the name of love....please dont loose yourself and your heart in the name of love....please sister leave him immediately....

Thank you everyone for the helpful advice I realised that I did not deserve to be treated in that manner by my now ex bf. I have discovered that now I am single I am very happy and I am spending more time with my family and friends who have been helping me move on. Thank you everyone do much :)