I might not be the only one

So I am going to make this as blunt as possible with some important details. I have been in several relationships in the past that have literally destroyed my self esteem. Sound familiar? Particularly in the body department. I'm not exactly a perfect hourglass figured girl, with the perfect tiny breasts or bountiful breasts and the huge glorious ass.. Etc. I guess it's true, everyone's preference varies from person to person, we are all humans with our own hopes and dreams... But I get insecure that my current boyfriend exaggerates what he says a lot. He says he prefers me, that I am the most beautiful thing in the world. Then why does he need porn? Is it strange that I feel so insecure at the thought of him wacking it to someone else? I feel this mostly traces back to my past and this is all mental, but I just can't help but hate my own body and hate the idea of him having fantasies about other women. It almost makes me resent him. I've been lied to about all of this crap in the past, and even if he is telling the truth. Why does he need that? Why does he need to look at women with perfect bodies if he puts me on such a high chair? I'm so confused and insecure, and I've been trying to change my body anyway, in healthy ways of course. Unhealthy ways would inhibit our relationship. What the hell do I do. What can I do?

okay well first of all... you are fine just the way you are... and second of all, if he was a... good enough person for you he would not be watching porn! that is really sick and that shows that he is not a very good person to try to change for.... hope this helps....