Feel really hurt

Ok so about a year and a half ago I met this guy where I worked. We started talking and kept it going for about 3 months. I really liked him but he told me he wasn't looking for a relationship because he had to much on his plate. We kept talking and ended up being intimate. He ended it with me because he said he felt pressured. Anyway about a month later he shows up while I was at work with a girl. Mind you they were already in a serious relationship. I was pretty hurt over that because I still liked him and felt like I didn't get any closure so I tried contacting him and he was being rude and told me if I didn't leave him alone he was going to get a restraining order and I was crazy for being upset over his sudden new relationship. Well we stopped talking and he ended up moving away for school. About 8 months later I contacted him just to say hi. Him and his ex had apparently broken up. Well anyway we started talking again this time for about 4 months. He apologized for how he treated me the last time and told me he knew I wasn't crazy and he was just being a jerk. Also he told me this time around my feelings mattered and he really respected me. We talked everyday and hung out whenever he was in town. It was going so good, it felt so liberating to have been able to work past our issues. But then some of my insecurities came up, like I was kind of worried he wasn't over his ex and I didn't want to get suprised again and have to hear that he was back with her. So I questioned him about her since he still had FB pics of her and wouldn't accept my friend request. At first he would tell me I was full of it and they didn't talk anymore but then he started getting mad and said he didn't want to talk about it anymore. I kept pushing it. He then said to just relax and stop worrying when he knew I have a little bit of anxiety about things. This was extremely hard because all I needed was reassuarance. Anyway long story short, I texted him to see if we could talk and he instantly threw it in my face again about getting a restraining order. Of course this just made me want to contact him more because he wasn't acting like the guy I knew and I felt so hurt and used, I needed answers. He got really mean and wouldn't acknowledge anything and just respond with "deleted", I don't care about you, you've always been crazy and you mean less to me than dog shit on my shoe. I know it all sounds stupid but I fell for this guy and got emotionally involved, I trusted him and now I totally feel so worthless. It's been months and I can't get over the hurt. I don't ever see myself having another relationship. I just don't know how to move past this :(

I know exactly how you feel :'( the same thing happned to me! my guy did that to me 4 times in the course of 6 months! I'm still hurting like hell, I have this huge lump of pain in my heart that I wish could go away! My advice to you is this....he isn't worth it I know that's hard to believe because you probably love him and would take him back in a heartbeat but think about it! That man probably got back with his ex, he used you as a distraction for him until he got her back! You should realize your self worth, you are worth it and you deserve better! You deserve a guy who will treat you like a queen and NEVER hurt you like that! If that man comes back like he did before play him, get your revenge and leave! That way you have control and you leave him dumbfounded :) but if he doesn't come back then you have to push through this, you are strong! I promise you'll find someone better than that jerk!

Thanks for your feedback. I know I need to move on and I\'m really trying to get my life back on track. Unfortunately we know all the same people so when I go to work I get reminded of it. I just feel so emotionally scarred and just want to get better. He of course has no remorse for all the things he said to me. And I\'ve really had to convince myself I am not the crazy one here. Looking back it was all mind games so he could get what he wanted and put all the blame on me so none of it would be his problem. I just want to get past this dark area in my life and it feels impossible :(

I know exactly how you feel :( I feel like my scares are permanent! Just a familiar smell of the guy who screwed me over makes the pain in my heart even more unbearable! Today I actually broke down in tears at work! He had shown up at our job during a meeting with his new girlfriend to introduce her to everyone! I quickly fled the building & had a melt down in my car! I cant believe that I'm crying over some idiot who played with my heart & tossed it to the side! I'm here to tell you that your not the one feeling this way! As time goes on the pain lessens but never go away! This guy who did this to you WILL regret it sooner or later! Trust me on that one! But now there's no rush feel how you want, cry, scream, shout, hit something until you feel better! My grandmother always told me that each relationship prepares us for the next one! I hope we both make it through this & find a better man!