Confused marriage

Ok I put a previous problem on here before and thank you for the responses. I've been talking to my wife on and off we are still separated. I have been trying to get back with her. She admitted she was talking to some other guy and she even admits he still talks to her and that he's trying to start a relationship with her. Well about my problem when we talk I strike up the conversations and I get quick 1 to 2 word answers sometimes followed by conversation enders. When I talk about us getting back together I get a list of reasons why we can't. Last night she said I feel so bad for what I did to you I can't stand to see you afterwards. Well I told her I forgive her. Then she said she's emotionally unstable and that I should leave her be and to look for somebody else. However she still gets jealous over me. She accuses me of having a rebound girlfriend which isn't true. She found out I go out sometimes on the weekends to have a couple drinks and play pool and she accused me of being a lame and a loser before and that's what she'll ever see me as which is why we can't be together and she resents me for wasting 5 years of marriage. We got into an argument last night and she says she was thinking about getting back together but never mind now. I don't know if I believe it because her actions don't say that she does. I made some mistakes that I see in our marriage. I didn't take her out as much as she wanted and I want to change. She's my first relationship I ever had. I don't want to lose her. I just don't know what she wants. I would love it if we went to counseling to try and work out our problems. I want to save it but it's going to take us both. Any opinions are very appreciated.

Wayne, your wife is confused and that's why she can't give you any clear answers...she's still sending mixed messages. With this confusion, she has added her jealousy and accused you of having a rebound GF. Listen to her when she says she's emotionally unstable because she's talking to you straight from the heart. In a sense, you've moved on a bit from her because you're out and about on weekends. It's one of your small ways in coping with the situation. When she accuses you of wasting 5 years of marriage, she needs to look in the mirror, because no matter who's fault it is, there's always 2 people in a relationship and both need to share responsibility for it's health...and there's no grey areas with that sharing...none. You mentioned counseling and you mentioned both of you have to participate..very true....but your wife needs to have the need to do this...hence her listing her reasons for not getting back together. We can understand your reasons for wanting to get back together but you can't force her. She has to come back right from the start, on her own steam, where she commences the process of talking it through and offering (not demanding) her solutions to get you guys back on track. She won't do this until she sorts her head and stops sending you mixed messages (her conflicting actions) which come straight from the heart.