Sometimes I stay too long or do I?

My gf of about a year has been dealing with her ex spouses recent suicide. Shes really close to that family and has been helping them sort things out, so I was kinda left totally understandably to the side. In a week we barely communicated by text message. So last night, stupidly I went by her home late after a night out, unannounced (I know stupid) I needed to see her and to just know she was ok, I know it was a bad move but as I drove closer I finally felt happier, so I went. I woke her, she wasnt too happy, yep stupid I know. She was cold, distant, tired and lost, I could see it in her eyes and it killed me to see. We talked and it turned to kind of not so nice words, and I acted like a complete childish a*s. I stormed out then back in, apologized and we parted, I hugged her tightly goodbye. I texted her a major apology this morning and asked her to forgive me. Now here's another wrinkle. From day one till a year later, she has said cares about me but does not love me (despite me telling her so) and that seeing each other weekly is the best she can do, in her defense she has said to say when, its not enough, to say so. I love the physical side of our relationship and I do have feelings for her. We argued about love last night and she said I have every right to expect someone to love me and to not lower my standards, just another reason I love her so, I guess. I just feel awful and since we were in not such a solid place before hand now I fear this thing she's dealing with and my dumb continuously outstanding antics have ruined or improved? what I thought to be a wonderful thing. I also know I have accepted less but in my defense, a man will some damn desperate things if they get lonely enough or they are in love. Thanks for any constructive input.

I don't know if there really is anything to say. Giving her more distance might make her see if her feelings are stringer than what she even believes. Then again, if you are fine with just the physical relationship in hopes that she will want more then you can mend that part. Personally, I think walking away and looking for that someone that can give you what you want and need is the better way. Settling will never keep you happy

She does not love you and cannot and she is right you deserve better. She deserves to love too. Let her go. Your behavior is not the problem. The heart wants what it wants.