Family is angry so is wife

Hello, this weekend was memorial day, it has been 32 years since I was able to participate in a family holiday, This one was different, I am not in medical care, I was not able to be screamed, cajoled or threatened into working it, like before I retired with 31 years accrued time. It was my wife's turn to hostess a cookout for the family and invited guests, at my house. However a problem with a family member developed, that member was me. My wife and family said they developed traditions for themselves and guests that never included me over the last 32 years. Some of the guests had been invited multiple times, many I worked with, some developed a great dislike for me, after the event there was another tradition my wife and family would bring a couple of snandwiches to the gate were I worked and give them to me and I would get back to work in the twenty minute time frame, this happened 256 consecutive holidays except when I was in the navy, then I was always totally out of touch underwater for three and a half years. Then they would go for an evening at a club and drinks, my wife was supplied a consort. You might wonder why I worked every holiday for 32 years, I do also. It seemed if I wanted to take a holiday off I was subject to different rules because I did not have a child, for that matter I only averaged a day off every four and 3 tenths years because of this. most days were 12 hour shifts, the holidays were 16 the reason I was not refusing the work even though I had the time my union, supervisor, father, and mother would scream, cajoled, cryed even threatened several times at knife point into going to work . After I retired I went to work at a logistics company, the next three years were spent on holidays deiceing aircraft, or ramp cleanup, after all the aircraft had to fly. this was acceptable to my father. I fell out of the tail compartment of an MD10 and bruised my back one night, two months later on October 24 2010 I had been in and out of the emergency room seven times, that Sunday night all my body functions started shutting down and I was begging to die. They found I had MRSA in my spine, I woke up two days later without feeling in my legs, its still that way and my spine fused from neck to tailbone. The next four years were spent in rehab or returning with three strokes, or intestinal bleeds. This year was different I am home, walking with help from a cane, It was my wife's turn to have a cookout here at my house, I took her to buy the items that were planed, on Saturday, Then things went south. My father came over and asked where I was going to be while this cookout was going on, I said right here, he went straight up. He said YOU ARE NOT INVITED, You have not been here in many years so why do you have to insert yourself now. He said some of my guests would like to strangle you. I said the he had to find someplace else for this event, he went and tried to book a park shelter but could not because they were all booked. He came back and said here is two hundred just find some place else to be we will call after we go to the club we have planed, I threw it in his face. He went to get my mother to try and get me to see reason, I told him my food, my house my equipment, this year I am staying, he started screaming loud enough to bring the metro police from next door, One was my neighbor. My father said will you please arrest this man he is planning to crash an event planed here, The cop looked at my father and asked him if he was some kind of fool, he asked my wife if she had a restraining order or order of separation, she did not, this was half an hour before the first of the guests arrived. My father said our traditions were never designed to include you, We have an escort for drinks for your wife already It will make him very uncomfortable you are here, Frankly I did not care about his escort problem and I informed him the only escort my wife had that evening was me. He said we have built these traditions over 32 years, I said wasn't the other tradition to force me to work at knifepoint when I had the right to take the holiday, He said you need to be a man. YOU ARE NOT INVITED TO EITHE FUBNCTION, I grabbed a chain and padlock opened the screen door and told him he was not welcome in my home because I was not leaving and having another cold meal latter he started crying, my mother said you are not winning this one. He said what about, and I said I know who they are by the way read the sign, It said no booze, no weed no drugs and no firearms. This is my house those are the rules. He then turned to my wife and told her to be ready a half hour after the event, I asked why he said you don't need to know, He tried one more time to have me removed, told the watch captain that I was drunk and needed locked up, He said look how he walks the watch officer looked at me and said that is amazing you weren't supposed to be out of a wheel chair, I said your shift ends in a half hour do you and your wife need anything I have plenty. He bought his wife back with him, my next door neighbor also came. The people that my father was worried about when they realized I was there left, my mother said things are really tense with your father, after everybody was done my wife and I rinsed the dishes and put them in the washer, My father looked at my wife and said are you ready, I went out the door with her, the guy that was supposed to escort my wife was waiting to give her a ride, she turned and said I will be back in two hours. I looked at him and said reach for her hand, you get broken, he apologized to my father and left, my father said you know how embarrassing it is to have your oldest son take thing over like this, again I really did not care, We came home five hours later we had to drive my father home, my mother said that's the first time she has seen him that drunk, he said my son the asshole. wont back down from anything now, we should have let him die four years ago. MY wife said what I did was the hieght of rudeness, that no civilized people acted the way I did. I ask after being denied my own home and wife for 32 years because I was basiclly screamed and forced to work the holidays, was I holding my rights, was I entitled after the years of denial, or should I have just left my home the food I bought, my wife for another man to escort? My father told my anger management councilor today that Even crippled there is coming a point if this happens on the forth he will get someone to kick my ass, my sister has already said I am welcome, her and her husband hosting the next, my brother is coming back for the forth he wants to see how bad my rear is cooked. He knows I don't fight fair. I really think my father lost his mind. My wife said she already told him not to try an escort again she says I will not risk your wrath again!