Boyfriend is getting massages from transsexuals

Just discovered that my boyfriend of 8 years is getting massages from a transsexual. Not sure how to proceed. If I say something I could end up homeless... (lived with him for 7 years). I believe this is not a regular occurrence but I do believe it has happened in the past, before me. Should I confront? Should I see if it is a pattern? I have two proven contacts and one verified visit. What would you do? He has been a father figure to my child...

Can you confront him calmly? Is it something that bothers you a lot? It may have absolutely nothing to do with you or his feelings toward you. It sounds like something that should be out in the open, if that's possible. You need to decide if keeping quiet will destroy you or your relationship. Is it something you could accept if it's something he needs? Wish I could help, but everyone is so different and your level of commitment and comfort with alternative lifestyles will determine how you should move forward.

Not sure if it bothers me. I need more information I think. Is he having intercourse? Then yes, I am bothered. If not, not so much. I am processing the information now. Can't figure out how I feel about it. He is very opinionated. He will talk over me and I am not sure he will be thrilled that I was snooping...I know he won't. Will turn this on me for snooping. May need to develop a better data base on his behavior. I don't know. If I did, I wouldn't be posting here :-) I am hoping someone says something brilliant and sets me on a path that makes sense.

I would for sure confront him. Is this sexual massage? Would he be ok if you received sexual massages? You say that he will talk over you or that he will accuse you of snooping? To me sexual massage is cheating. And I couldn't care less about how the information fell into my lap or if I had to dig 6 feet deep to get it the bigger issue is his being deceptive and possible cheating. You state in your post that if you say something you could end up home less. You need to fix that. It is not good to be too dependent on a person, what if he is having intercourse with them? You need to have a way to get out of the relationship if the relationship turns bad. Do not sacrifice your self and what you feel is right because you have no where else to go. That is the worst reason to stay in a relationship. You ask what I would do. I would consider it cheating. I would have made up my mind that it was wrong and not the type of relationship I would want and not the type of father figure I would want for my child. I would have a back up place to stay in case the conversation went wrong, have my child stay at a friends house or grandmas house while I speak with my boyfriend. Then I would sit my boyfriend down, let him know what I found out and tell him it is NOT ok with me. He can yell, he can say I snooped, he can talk over me all he wants and I will tell him again. It is NOT ok and I will not continue in a relationship where I feel there is a lack of honesty and openness with my partner. The very fact that you put in you post "transsexual" speaks loud. Why is transsexual even an issue? Do they only higher transsexuals at this massage parlor? Why? They would just be called women or men and not Transsexuals (even if they are in fact transsexual). The fact that they only have individuals that are transsexual here makes me think this is a sex fetish massage. I will put up with a lot in my relationships but cheating is not one of them.