Broken heart

I was with him 10 years but 3 years ago we split up. I have not been with anyone. I have waited for him. We started texting a few days ago and then he stopped on the weekend. I had asked if he was with anyone and he texted no. but I feel it in my heart that he is lying to me. So I texted him and said I was wrong to share how I felt and he should not feel obligated to be nice. and pretty much sent a text that was mean, But I am so hurt! my heart aches and my body feels empty my thoughts wont stop and I feel like I am a big loser. I thought he loved me and I really thought we were supposed to be together and now I feel was toying with me. Why am I so stupid. now all I do is feel heartbroken and lonely I have not heard from him and feel I should not contact him because he may not want to hear from me. please help