Wife and her ex

Long storie short. 3 1/2 yrs into our marriage. My wife has continued to stay in touch with ex that she has had an on and off agin relationship gor 16 yrs. Up until 2 months ago...they where spending 5 to 12 hrs a week on the phone with each other...she went behind my back and seen him once that I know of and ran around with him for 2 days when we where separated because of this issue. I found a text to Him with a heart attached to it which she says means nothing. And yet another time we where separated she seen fit to bring another totally different man into our home and our bed.we have separated 5 times over this ex boyfriend usually only for a few days except for when the other fellow being in our home which was a month of us being apart but still talking. She seems to be on the up and up for now but says she will always care for the ex boyfriend. I know I love her but she has taken so much from our relationship that its not the same. She has disrepected me in so many ways. The big question is do you think she can really fly right with our relationship or should I jump ship.

It's one thing (despite never a healthy sign) to stay distant acquaintances with an ex but what is wrong with you that you would stand there doing nothing FOR TWO WHOLE MONTHS whilst your woman is giving your exclusive relationship-contract-stipulated rights and privileges away to another man for up to 12 hrs per week?! What were you - tied to a chair in the basement the whole time? Means nothing, my arse. Yeah, that's why people commonly text hearts to their milkman and postman. Because they mean nothing. [rolls eyes] You are Princess Diana, mate. How do you like THEM apples? Yuck, right? You going to eat them or spit them out? Wait up - a THIRD man? What's she doing - thinking of setting up a brothel?! :-p Sounds like she cannot tolerate being on her own for even 5 minutes OR/AND uses this dislike as her method for trying to make you constantly insecure to the point where you'll cling tighter (so as to make her feel more secure). I'll repeat that: your insecurity equals her security. She can't feel secure without it. That's not healthy equal love, that's Master-Servant. I'm not SURPRISED it's not the same. I call it, having the love kicked out of you. It's emotional abuse, pure and simple. Who CARES what her reasons are. There are ways of asking nicely for things or problems to be fixed and that package is not one of them! I you feel like jumping ship, jump ship. She's behaved like a (nasty, bullying) man so she can damn well chase you back like one. Maybe then - IF you take her back - she'll think twice before kicking your relationship around as if it were nothing more important or delicate than a football, big fat eh!

Do you lack a backbone, Treetopflyer, or were you uncharacteristically and temporarily laid low during the period when the mouse was playing?

for her to tell you that her ex will always be apart of her tells you that shes not ready to let him go & that there is still feelings for this guy. he was an ex for a reason which should mean EXPIRED to your wife, youve been taken for granted numerous times & yet your still willing to take her back after knowing what shes been upto wbile seperated. If she cant respect you & your feelings why bother to make the marriage work? obviously shes not trying AT ALL.. I feel sorry for you but then I dont only cause the signs are right infront of you ^& you can say it to us but you still put yourself out there to get burnt. Don't waste your time chasing her trying to make the marriage work & find yourself a REAL WIFE who can respect you & love YOU ONLY & understands that an EX IS AN EX