A guy...

I was talking to a guy (online) for months without meeting him face to face first. It was him who took the initiative. I didnt really care about him at the beginning. I was late to reply (even a week), well, I didnt know him, he was nobody to me. He kept on writing me all the time, starting the conversation, asking "why do you ignore me??" ..."stop ignoring me...". Soon I found out he was really smart and sweet person and I kinda got used to him. After some time I realized I was waiting for him to write and looking forward our conversations, he got under my skin...we shared lot of personal things, lot of pictures...got addicted to each other n we talked often about meeting for real. I forgot to say there were thousands of km in between us...he was really respecting me, no dirty talk, he often said he wants to sleep hugging me, cook for me n take care of me, he offered me many times to come n stay at his place, but I prefered to stay at my friend´s when I decide to come...he is very sensitive guy... I often thought...why he is doing this with me? I never promised anything to him...I said I would love to meet him but wasnt sure if it was ever going to happen...he knew this all! 4 months passed and ...we met! It was beautiful...it really was like a dream come true...I could touch sth I desired for so long...I could see he felt the same. After that we talked normally (online)...we were talking about meeting again...we made a plan but when we were about to meet actually, weird things started to happen!!! He kept on escaping...He asked me "when can we meet?"...I said when do you wanna meet? ...after hours he wrote sorry I lost my phone...another evening we agreed to meet but he never came. I was there waiting for him n by the time we were supposed to meet he sent me msg he is in another city n wont be able to make it. ...I couldnt believe it!!! I was sooo disappointed and upset...it went on like this the next days too...he always asked to meet but never met me. ...he kept on confusing me and later on treating me like a total asshole...saying mean things, pretending to be busy all the time (I knew how was his lifestyle from all those months talking, no parties, no clubbing, most of the time spending time at home reading, studying or hanging out with flatmates), etc. We met once more, but he wasnt the person I knew anymore...he came all cool and arrogant, trying to show me he is the boss...everytime I tried to ask for the explanation he just told me to stop overthinking, that nothing has changed n blablabla...he was giving me headache big time!!! When he was leaving he asked me what was my surname!!! He did everything to push me away and to make me hate him...but I still didnt....I dont understand it myself but I know what kind of guy he really is and I know this all is just a disguise... I left n he wrote me he has problems with opening himself up to the others, he doesnt trust anybody and neither himself alone and that he isnt ready for a relationship...he keeps on checking on my connections and every now n then writes...all is weird now and I dont really know what to do. I miss him, (the old him I mean) with all my heart but I dont know where can I find him...dont know what to do...

I can see how this is hurting you and I am so sorry you are experiencing this at this time. In my experience I have found that some men like the chase but then once the excitement of getting the girl to pay attention has worn off they change. Many years ago I went through something similar...he talked on the phone until the son came up. He was so sweet to me and took me everywhere, he wasn't afraid to show me affection in public and I felt like a Princess but then me being needy, insecure, and clingy pushed him away. Finally I confronted him and asked him why he was treating me so differently and he said it was because I was being insecure and too needy. Needless to say we broke up and he started dating someone else. It hurt me but I learned that to be more aware of my insecurities and learned to avoid men who like the chase of getting a woman but don't want to keep her. It isn't really your fault...its a learning experience and I promise once you start to ignore him he might just start chasing you again but this time do not give him and stand your ground. be confident and wonderful inside and out. He will soon realize he made a mistake and then it will be your choice if you wish to bother with him ever again. Best of luck to you and I hope you feel better real soon

He knows my surname...he only asked it to show me I am not important to him...it was a theatre the second time we met. He told me before he has lot of insecurities and I think he was just trying to hide it by playing cool and arrogant person. I wanna help him but he has this wall around himself...