I insulted my bestie and now we both no more talking

My female friend and I separated due to big fight. Due to my stupidity, I insulted her in front of my friends. I didn't meet her for up to 6 months already. She left me on May this year. After a month time, I tried to call and text her to ask for forgiveness. But, she didn't reply me properly. She text back saying "I don’t know who you are. If I get another call or text, I will make a police report". This situation left me helpless. I'm not afraid that she will make a police report, but afraid my calls and texts will increases her anger and hatred on me and I would not get a chance to get to her again. Actually, last time she likes me a lot, even fell in love with me. She is a pretty lady. But, I told her I'm not ready for it yet. That time i just finished my studies and was looking for a job. And I was in depression too because all of my friends went to work already except me that time. I even fought with my family members and friends for even silly things. But, now she totally hates me after that incident. She is not even ready to look at my face. But, after some time, I found that she is with another guy who is four years younger than her. I don't know what and how to react and just leave the thing go its own till now. I thought she got somebody who will look after her, even better than me. She blocked me in all social networks, even in Whats-app. Somehow, I still managed to stalked her Facebook profile last month and found out that she coupled up with that guy. I'm afraid she took wrong life path due to my mistake. That guy and him studying in same college but staying in different hostels now. They both are from far but not from same place. I'm currently working. The situation making me suffers every day. I couldn't focus on anything. I want to meet her and ask for forgiveness. She looks after me like my mother. She always wants me to be happy. But, I didn't appreciate her love towards me and hurt her with words. Currently I'm working on changing myself the way she wanted me to be as much i can. But, what is the point if I could not talk to her again? Please advise me. p/s 1: Next week is her birthday and we both are same age. p/s 2: I never contact her for almost 3 months already. p/s 3: I know what I did was totally shit. Something i shouldn't have done to her. p/s 4: Don’t scold me for what I did because I’m also just human-being like you. p/s 5: I know I’m a jerk.

"but what is the point if I could not talk to her again?" Because the people in the future you associate with, won't suffer like she did. Changing yourself is not a decision you make for others, it's a decision you make for yourself. From the sounds of it, she has moved on with her life and you haven't, which is leaving you dejected and unhappy, perhaps even jealous of her. If you truly want to fix your mistake, first decide that you should fix yourself. No, that's too harsh, you're not fixing yourself because you're not broken. You just have flaws, and this one flaw significantly impacted on another person's life. So I suggest if you really want to change yourself, for yourself, then seek help. Ask a family member or close friend to sit with you and talk, work it out. Or even go to a therapist, understand why you fight like that at the expense of others. You know that the fight is meaningless, so it is obvious that something is compelling you to do it anyways. Perhaps, in time, you can find out why and work to improve yourself. However, one thing I would never suggest is ask her for forgiveness. From the sounds of it, you hurt her really badly and she probably never wants to see you again. So find a way to contact her that is not in person, perhaps through an email or another form. Tell her you know you can't be forgiven for what you did to her, but that you're trying to improve yourself. You know she can't forgive you, but let her know you're really sorry for everything and wish her luck with her partner. or something along those lines. If you really care about her, you'll leave it at that. She's moved on with her life, involving yourself with her now will only hurt that. But you can at least give her some peace over the incident and, at the same time, become a better person.

Thank you very much for those advice, Regrowth. You really helped me to get myself out of this confusion slightly. By the way, can I contact her through a letter? A sorry letter on her birthday next week. I wouldn't talk anything else, except giving the sorry letter directly. Because, I don't have any other way of giving the letter except by myself. Is that proper way of giving it?

can you try contacting one of her friends, or family, and ask them to give the letter? Coming to her uninvited will probably not illicit a good reaction, as she'll directly connect you to the incident and become immediately aggressive (or defensive). I thought about giving her a letter on her birthday as well, but I feel she might react to it and ruin her day. Good intentions aside, it will no doubt bring back the experience again. Perhaps a day or two before/after her birthday would work better, where you could wish her an early/late birthday and explain you didn't want to ruin her day etc. I'm not sure honestly, humans are infinitely complicated and you just don't know how she'll receive it. But I do heavily suggest asking one of her friends or someone close to her to deliver it. It'll be received better from a third party, and there'll be someone there to talk if she needs to.

Thank you very much. Really appreciate it. Actually I also don't want ruin her day with my presence. She deserve to be happy. So, its better I do like what you both said. The rest I will leave in God's hand.