16, need women advice please?
Hey, okay... well im 16, female, and im really confused. I've been with my boyfriend 11 months, and throughout we've been sexually active. Here's the problem, im not sure if im possibly pregnant. I know it sounds really bad, but im not entirely sure. I had the sex on friday night, it was protected how ever there was a definite rip in the condom. And it was obvious the sperm had got inside as I scented it - it was the only way to check. I know its to soon, and I could have gotten emergency contraception, but I literally couldn't get my nerves to stop. I do suffer anxiety, and asking for things isn't easy, I find most appointments overwhelming and I probably sound pathetic and need to think logic im to shy to ask. I've taken two tests both negative. However, I was suppose to get my period this week but im around a week late which is why im so confused, I had it friday, and im not sure would it delay it? I am bloated, my appetite is small, I feel very stuffed with little food. I feel drained, and I just don't feel doing anything at all. Thing is, i've been depressed also, I don't know if im slipping back into my emotional ways or if its from the sex or both? I'm currently on the sick from school until after christmas. Anyway, what should I do? My boyfriend is aware and is supportive but he knows about a step in clinic, I don't wanna trigger a panic attack. I'm not telling anyone, I just need to know when should I take the next test and why didn't I get this months period?
Thankyou - sorry if any spelling errors on my phone posting.
You sound scared, and confused. The first thing is to keep a calm and clear head, and to seek help. Summon up your courage and talk to someone you trust- it could be your mom, and aunt, someone who knows you and can help you. 16 is very young to have a baby, but just rest in this reassurance that if you are in fact pregnant, there are options- adoption is a great way to give a needy family a child that they could not previously have.
Sometimes tests can turn out negative even when there is a baby- I suggest going to a doctor with someone you trust and have an ultrasound to make sure. I hope this helps.
Just relax! Half your problems are due to your anxiety. Periods can get delayed depending if you are tensed about it. If your periods are due this week then you were most probably in your safe period when you had sex (which means chances of you getting pregnant is very less).
I agree, go to a doctor to find out for sure. It may be scary to do but all in all you should feel so much better once you've done it. Remember when your period is due your emotions get all out of whack anyway which really wont help, but its NORMAL.
It could be a phantom pregnancy. These can happen when you're frequently sexually active with someone you feel secure and settled with yet are still in Honeymoon Period with - the womb 'gets all excited' and starts preparing pre-emptively prematurely (bodily wishful thinking). Equally, you could be about to have a very early miscarriage (which just comes out as a tardy and particularly heavy period).
A test won't show positive until there's enough pregnancy hormone (HCG) in your urine - about day 10/11 following ovulation with today's more sensitive test kits. HOWEVER, as SHIVANGI has already pointed out, acute anxiety - especially in tandem with a sudden, drastic drop in daily calorie intake is - a prime cause of cycle interruption or cessation, as well as fatigue (your brain assumes a severe famine has just struck, meaning it can't afford to waste the energy contained in body fat reserves on newly trivial/unwanted functions like reproduction and being physically active). Plus the chances of fertilization are indeed lessened outside of ovulation.
Also, it's far too soon for your tummy to be sticking out or for you to be experiencing pregnancy fatigue, and your hunger would have begun to *increase*, not drop. So in fact, with these two symptoms the case, you might well be constipated. Myriad little-known causes include - individually or in combination - some medications (painkillers), frequent sexual intercourse, too much chocolate or dairy, Winter, a run of late nights, and (wait for it) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS AND DEPRESSION (AND ANXIETY) ITSELF. So think about when you last did a motion compared to your normal regularity, and consider using a non-agitative, stool-softener type of laxative (ask the chemist).
But why aren't you approaching your mum with this worry? You know, the woman in whose job description this is and whom I'm sure would feel very let down and disappointed if she knew you weren't paying her recognition by confiding in her? Or will you if you get a Positive result?
Thankyou all so much for the lovely comments! I honestly freaked posting at first but im glad I did! I have tried to take them all in as much as I can understand. I'm just glad i've received fully matured feedback I really appreciate them!
I am still stuck in confusion, it's been a week today, and nothing has really changed. I am emotionally drained, physically exhausted & I have shakes. My breast has developed sore & I keep feeling nauseous mid afternoon, evening & a little in the morning. I keep feel as though im going to collapse. I also have vague headaches, and a dry mouth im really unsure about what's going on with my body. I have still not got this months period either. I've had pretty regular bowel movements - which is actually odd for me I forgot, I probably should have mentioned I do have IBS as well. So I do suffer constipation however been more frequent this past week. Im just genuinely wobbly, and shaky.
I don't what to say? Or what else to do? Im trying to keep calm but I feel really strange and lost.
I haven't confided in my mum because I don't get on with her & never really have that kind of relationship where I would. She'd just react in a way I can't be dealing with, and I really don't want more arguments. Plus she'll tell my auntie and it'll get passed on. For now I want to keep it under my wing even it sounds stupid, I know im asking for advise here but I have no one else. Im distant with my family I keep people out of my problems. & there's loads of other stress in the family right now. Im terrified of making a doctors appointment cause I changed doctors, he see's my mum often & I hardly remember how to get there cause its far from where I live - 45min walk :(
Sore nipples can be a sign of pregnancy (but not usually THIS early on - unless it's NOT as early as you think and your last period wasn't actually a genuine period?). They can also be a sign of hormones out of whack...as can nausea and headaches. There again, those and the shakes and dry mouthed-ness can also be a side-effect of many medications. You're therefore not going to be able to diagnose what's wrong over the internet so I suggest you ask boyfriend to visit your doctor with you - and make it quick in case you are pregnant and a lot further on than you think, so that if you decide on a termination you'll come within the legal deadline.
Otherwise, you should bear in mind that the very act of confiding in your mum and asking for her help is usually perfect for putting paid to any trivial, surface crap that's lain priorly between a daughter and her mother (and her mother's sister, your auntie). Saying that, I understand if you don't dare in this case.
So back to this doctor and the issue of patient-client confidentiality and whether s/he'll treat you without parental involvement: I don't know what nationality you are, but here in the UK, any health professional takes guidance from what's called the Fraser Criteria, wherein it says he or she needs to be satisfied that the young patient can understand the advice and have sufficient maturity to understand what's involved in terms of the moral, social and emotional implications and that the doctor couldn't persuade the young person to inform the parents nor allow him/her (the doctor) to inform them. Having your partner there would go a decidedly long way to removing the doctor's sense of need about informing your parents because doing so is usually to ensure the patient has emotional support - which, by having bf there, you'd be demonstrating. It would also signify emotional maturity on yours and his parts and as a young couple.
You or boyfriend can find out the clinic's location (with a map) and phone number on the web. 45 minutes' walk or a quick bus or taxi ride is a small price to pay for peace of mind (and quite likely a prescription for the contraceptive pill), don't you think?
Thankyou for many answers! I know im silly, and I know all your advise has been effort to help - which I asked for, but I still never went to a clinic. Baring in mind i've had a lot of family issues & the winter bug. However, its been 12 days exact since I had unprotected sex and I have a period this morning? Like full on heavy period. I'm not sure if this is suppose to be last months which would be 15 days late now, but i've got one, im really confused?!?! I know women can bleed as a first sign of pregnancy, but im not sure if its just my period is late? What do you all think? Its so strange... Really thank you all!!
Forgot to mention i took a test on monday, it said negative but I was vomiting that day with the bug, so possible chances my HCG levels were low?
The blood doesn't have that scent to it either? Like period blood normally has, it smells of nothing - is this normal?
I suspect it's a delayed period due to said over-excited repro system having laid down extra endometrium or an early miscarriage.
(Men cover your eyes) Do you have any 'chopped liver' in with the blood?
Not sure about the lack of scent, but that could be more to do with your bug having put your olfactory system temporarily out of action.
Whichever, if at day 12 the test says negative then - with these things being so incredibly accurate these days - chances are too high that you're NOT pregnant. But if you want to be TRIPLY sure, by all means wait another week and do another final test.
Treat this as having been a reality-slap-style warning, though. Clearly condoms aren't robust and reliable enough and you need to make an appointment with your GP about going on the Pill (or next time you may not be so lucky).