Emotionally neglected

I have been married for 5yrs and I am in a marriage that was built on lies. 9 months after we were married I had found out a ton of lies. He never cares about my feelings and and everything is about him. He pats himself on the back and praises himself but when I need him to be there for me he can't.

I stay because I do love him but mainly for the kids. I have 2 kids from a previous marriage and he has 3 kids from a previous marriage but she had passed when the kids were very young. He makes me feel guilty and tells me that if I leave the kids I am selfish and that they don't need to loose another mom. I feel trapped. He is controlling and I really believe he has a personality disorder. I do not want a divorce but I can not physically and emotionally handle much more.