A long story... but really need some help!!

So tomorrow evening I am going to my boyfriend's mums house, what for festive cheer you might think? Well the complete opposite actually! I found messages on his Facebook account discussing with his work colleagues their Christmas party and whether he had any hopes with getting off with any of the girls; well two in particular. Considering I was meant to be attending my own works Christmas party that evening but didn’t go, I was stuck in by myself and stayed at his flat to complete assignments for university last minute; I asked him if I could stay at his because I needed the peace and quiet as I still live at home. Well I thought he was doing me a favour by letting me stay as I was struggling with the work load of the third year at university whilst also having two part time jobs. I thought to myself in the New Year I could go out drinking and really I needed to stay in and get my work done. Well that’s not the half of it; if seeing these messages were not heart breaking enough we have gone through a lot as it was and I thought we were at a good place; even discussing moving in together and planning a family once I had finished my degree. I have added background information to our relationship; so people can understand my current dilemma and our relationship history. We met in 2010 and really hit it off straight away. I had got my first paid job in early years in the September and was really happy with things. It was a friend's birthday that October and she had organised a night out; I only knew one other girl who was going but at last minute she pulled out. I still went even though I didn't know anyone. But had a great night and met my now boyfriend; he was a friend of the friend whose birthday it was. By the end of the October we were an item; three weeks after meeting! We would spend time together at our parent’s houses; we lived twenty minutes from one another and neither of us drove; so we relied on getting the bus or asking people for a lift. To begin with my mum and her partner (who I lived with at the time) really liked him and having him at the house. If we were not together then we would spend an hour on the phone in the evening and texting in the day when we could. We enjoyed Christmas together and spent a lot of time at his house. I then found out that I was four weeks pregnant in the middle of February; we discussed what we planned to do and in the end I had an abortion. I was scared to tell my mum and wanted to be with him the week of having the abortion. I eventually told my mum beforehand and wanted her to be with me for the procedure. Although I pleaded with her that she didn't tell her partner; I didn’t want many people knowing and was not sure what his reaction was going to be. I just brushed everything under the carpet and we never discussed the abortion and the affect it had on us and the relationship. However I began to get upset a lot of the time when I was with him. One morning he stayed with me and when he was in the shower; I don’t know why but I checked his phone and found messages to a girl from his college class and the messages were more than friendly. I immediately felt really angry and wanted to lash out at him; but knowing it was at my parents' home I controlled my emotions and stopped myself. He kept asking if I was alright but I said I was fine; we both caught the bus that morning and I went to work and he went back to his parents. At some point I finally came out with what I had found and we decided we needed to take a break from the relationship. We spent time apart but got back together; but things had changed and there was a massive stress on our relationship. I decided that my mums partner needed to know the full extent of things and he was told about the abortion. But from then on him and my mum didn't like my boyfriend and said bluntly that they didn’t what contact with him or him coming to see me at the house when they were not there. This added more grief to everything for me; but I decided to give him another chance and the relationship; I was adamant about this even with my parent’s views. This in turn affected my relationship with my mum and my mum's partner. Myself and my boyfriend went away in the summer and I had a tonsillectomy in the October; because of complications I stayed at home and didn’t see him for a majority of October. In the December, my boyfriend's parents had claim money from an accident that his dad was in and they decided to go on a family holiday between Christmas and New Year; which they said they would pay for me and wanted me to come. I did but this caused anguish from my own parents; they couldn’t believe I was going to spend the holidays with his family and not them. But the holiday brought me and my boyfriend closer; we were happy and relaxed; the way it was to begin with. Things were good between me and my boyfriend for months after; and we discussed moving in or prospects for us individually. We then decided we would both take driving lessons so we can see more of each other; and also decided to enrol on higher education courses at a college locally to us. However, the strains began to show again; a school friend of mine had a still born baby and it made me feel guilty about the abortion. It brought back emotions and throughout it all I felt relief after the abortion, which then came guilt and upset. From April till July our relationship was the worse it had ever been. I wasn't sleeping and constantly crying when I was with him; I was so clinging towards him; and wanted him close and use to think about our baby. My boyfriend said to me one evening that he had arranged for us to see a counsellor which I was anxious about; but I agreed to go. We came away being a couple rather than two people and I felt relieved that even though we weren’t capable to discuss things without the counsellor it was a start. The first counselling session was free and then you would have to pay; we agreed that from then on we wouldn't bottle things up and be open with one another. However, it was more difficult than we thought and even though my parents had accepted the fact I had a relationship with him. The relationship was ultimately falling apart. One day he came to my parents' home as agreed we would go shopping; however he had all of my things that I kept at his parents' home for when I stayed there. He said it was because his parents were decorating the house because at the time they were going through separation and selling their house. I did not believe him and said there was more to this then he was letting on, even though it went against my parents' wishes I let him in and he suggested us being friends; there was no doubt I was upset but I thought him organising the counsellor for us was progress. I now know that he couldn't cope with how upset I would get. The relationship came to an end one evening in July when mutual friends said he had cheated on me in a strip club when visiting his friends at university. Which he denied; and said he had joked about but was totally untrue. I was confused on how our friends knew about this, but I snapped at the time and declared to him that I never wanted to see him again. I found it really difficult afterwards but as time went on I dealt with it better and put all my time and energy into my job. I worked at a nursery school which closed for two weeks and didn't want to dwell on things; to keep myself happy I needed to be constantly busy. So I asked if I could stay and visit my cousin in Spain, whose daughter was two at the time and she kept me busy that's for sure!! A week before travelling I received texts from my boyfriend asking how I was and the possibility of meeting up. I thought I can't; I was coping with being apart and couldn't deal with it. I ignored all communication efforts made by him. When I was in Spain I also heard from his mum and I said I would meet her once I was back. I did go and see her and basically put it to her that there was no way we could start the relationship again; I felt better in myself and said it was best that we kept it the way things were. And in the September, it was a fresh start for me a new job and starting my foundation degree at college. Although, he had also enrolled too at college like we discussed; so in big seminars we saw each other but kept our distance. In the October, I had begun to adjust to a single life and some of my friends tried to set me up with guys which I did not appreciate. One day I was contacted by his mum saying that he had a bad head injury and had a bleed on the brain; and thought I should know. I instantly was distracted by this and told her to update me with news about his recovery. He had a slow recovery but was fine; the end of term was coming up for college and I couldn't get him out of my head. So I asked to meet him after college one day; we then began talking again but I said it should only be on a friendly basis; I didn’t know what I actually wanted and didn't want to lead him on; but I missed him! From then it developed and New Year’s I ended up spending it with him and mutual friends of ours. I felt happy and things were carefree and we were joking and laughing about that evening. He got jealous at one point when another guy at the bar was chatting to me; and he stayed by my side the whole evening. That night we ended up sleeping with each other. From January 2013 we have been seeing each other but I have kept it from my closest friends and family; but with nobody criticising our relationship we have shared with each other our feelings and remembered the reasons we first got together and it was like when we first got together. Summer last year I tried to end it saying it was never going to work; but that did not even last two days! I have hid it from my mum because she really doesn't like him; so it meant I saw him whenever I could! There was problems with my mum's relationship since last New Year’s up until this September; where I decided to move out and move in with my dad and develop my relationship with him. The move meant I had more time to see my boyfriend as my dad works long hours. But my dad does not know about us. I will go to him and he will visit me at my dad's; the relationship had gone from strength to strength. We have finally been able to spend quality time together and in recent months we have discussed about coming out to people as a couple again and finding a place to live and thinking about careers and planning a family. Finding these messages last week has made me think does he really want this; as in the messages he refers to me as his "on/off" girlfriend. I feel like he has humiliated me as he has only started the job since October and it is in my town where some people knew of us when we were publically an item. I had it out with him that night and rang him to come back; which when I rang his mobile a woman answered saying that he left his phone in her car and she was only the neighbour taking them in to town for their Christmas party. She said she could ring someone he was with to get him to ring me straight back. I said if she wouldn’t mind letting me have the number and I would do it myself. He rang me and asked if I tried getting hold of him (he said prior to going out he might stay with the nursery owner he works for or come back that night; he said he would promise to text me throughout the night to let me know how the night was going - however this was also a lie because he had drove the girls house who he had been messaging). When I spoke to him I was angry and demanded him to come back straight away. When he got back in the early hours, the first thing he said was "what have I supposed to have done now" which keeps going around in my head; does he think his behaviour is okay? I went on to say I saw the messages to his work colleagues - discussing having sex with either two of them. He was very contradicting saying that we were on and off; referring to the previous summer when I tried to call it off. He then said he didn't know what I wanted. I asked what did he want and he said that he wanted me it's always been me; he referred to our conversations on planning a future together. I said what is the messages about - are you not happy? He responded saying it's me not you! What a one liner that is! He also said that it was a joke and a conspiracy theory at work to set them up but he said it was never going to happen because they all knew about myself and him, at his work. When I left that Sunday the Saturday after finding the messages; I kept his login in details to Facebook and saw that he was in communication with the girls from his work however nothing that was anything to worry about. However as I watched them chat casually on Facebook; it came up saying for me to login. He had obviously changed his password and I bluntly text him saying “you’ve changed your password that was nice to see!!” We spoke on the phone and he said he doesn’t need Facebook so he would delete it; I said if he was going to play away he would text girls. He gives me the impression that he tells his mum everything to do with us so I asked whether he had said anything. I suggested that he did because saying sorry will not make it up to me and he needs to take responsibility for the way he has treated me. I also said if he didn’t I would; therefore that night he did and his mum suggested us all meeting and talking over things. I need to talk to someone unbiased about our relationship and get their impression. And ultimately I want to ask what would they do in my shoes?