The Worst Betrayal

I feel like the dumbest person in the world.....Not only dumb,but worthless,unloved,naive, and lost. My problem is that I am certain that my boyfriend of 12 years is cheating on me with my sister,or at least had attempted to. We have 2 children, 5 and 10, and began dating in high school. We have been through a lot, from the loss of our first child,homelessness,and other outside problems. I have dealt with issues by his side this whole time. Though there are problems such as financial worries and problems that I have had with him regarding emotional abuse towards me,but through it all, him cheating on him hadn't really been a concern. I have to say that the first incident happened in 2013. I first caught a text between the two via Facebook that I confronted him about. He denied that it was for him and was for his friend that texted her through his account instead. I let it go for them,but after some digging I found multiple messages in his Facebook and email that did in fact look like the messages were intended for him. There was just too much to ignore....the text were worded the way he talks,days she asked for money are the days he got paid, and there was plenty of sexual talk, and times if meeting up during his lunch breaks. I confronted him about it and her and they both denied it....both saying that the other was the one sending the texts but nothing happened. Since I only had texts i let it go and carried on. This time around Thanksgiving of this year the strange behaviors and texts started again. Him calling her boo and carrying on with sexual talk and she was acting distant again. This time i confronted him and told him to get out. I kept calling her to confront her but she wouldn't pick up her phone. Needless to say, I am so weak and feeble minded i let him talk me into letting him stay. He keeps brushing it off like nothing happened and my feelings shouldn't be hurt,like it's my fault and that he is really the victim because he is the only one working right now. Truth is is that i hate myself for carrying on in this toxic relationship. I know he doesn't respect me and my sister isn't the only girl he was having inappropriate conversations with. I think that I am starting here for the sake of my kids having their dad around and that i am terrified of moving on. With nowhere to go i don't know what to do. I'm not wOrking. My only job had really been taking care of my sick mom for 11 years. I feel worthless....like a doormat and he knows that I will put up with anything he dishes out because he has this Damn hold on me and i feel so foolish!!! I have very low self esteem,he is constantly telling me that i will never amount to nothing,I'm sorry,and always picking on how i look. I know I'm not pretty or interesting and that is why he wants my sister....every guy I've known had wanted her instead. Can't be too much of a coincidence that him and an old boyfriend of mine both asked me why she looks better than me. I hate myself...the only thing keeping me here is my two kinds because i know they will not be in good hands if left with him. He already had stated before that if i leave he won't pay child support for them. I hate where my life has come to...i wish i could just start my whole life over!!!!

First of all your husband is a dick. Make no excuses for the man he is a dick. Your sister should be a better sister and auntie too. Do you really want to continue your life surrounding yourself with these people do you want your kids to watch you do it. Leave his ass this whole I'm not paying child support is a cowards threat bring him up in front of a judge and let him say that to her. You have alot more to offer a man than your sister. Trust me girl make up your mind and don't leave him change it. Xxx