Will he come back

I need some help trying to figure out a situation I have been in.I was involved with a man for the last 5 years,the first year was perfect,we did everything I need some help trying to figure out a situation I have been in.I was involved with a man for the last 5 years,the first year was perfect,we did everything together,I met his children and we moved in together with 3months,I thought my life had started and I was really happy.But then one day it all changed,we went out and a had a big argument,he told me the next day to pack my bags and leave it was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I did it.Weeks passed and I found out that he had stated to see his ex girlfriend it broke my heart,I begged him to talk to me,since then he never left my life kept coming back and fourth telling me its me he wanted,he's never been happier with anyone but me and I feel for it every single time,this carried in for 2years no real commitment all he kept saying was we are working towards a realtionship.In March last year he finally decided to give us a proper go,things were looking good he again began to be the way he was when we first got together until I asked him where this realtionship was going,I wanted commitment to get married and have children,he left angry,I found out in June he was again cheating on me,it broke me all over again and this time I wanted answers to why this had gappened,he began ingoning me,I was ringing him,texting him but would get no reply,I even asked a close friend to ask to speak to me and all he said is that he would in his own time,it never came,because I worked with him I couldn't face going in,I was signed off for stress for 10 weeks,not once did he pick up the phone to ask me how I was.Then 5 days before Christmas a girl we both used to work with rang me to tell me she was now with him,as you can imagine I was shocked as j thought he had left me for the other woman which he did not now again had moved on!!It again was the worst pain I had experienced,Its coming up to a month since I even tired to contact him ,I met his children and we moved in together with 3months,I thought my life had started and I was really happy.But then one day it all changed,we went out and a had a big argument,he told me the next day to pack my bags and leave it was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I did it.Weeks passed and I found out that he had stated to see his ex girlfriend it broke my heart,I begged him to talk to me,since then he never left my life kept coming back and fourth telling me its me he wanted,he's never been happier with anyone but me and I feel for it every single time,this carried in for 2years no real commitment all he kept saying was we are working towards a realtionship.In March last year he finally decided to give us a proper go,things were looking good he again began to be the way he was when we first got together until I asked him where this realtionship was going,I wanted commitment to get married and have children,he left angry,I found out in June he was again cheating on me,it broke me all over again and this time I wanted answers to why this had gappened,he began ingoning me,I was ringing him,texting him but would get no reply,I even asked a close friend to ask to speak to me and all he said is that he would in his own time,it never came,because I worked with him I couldn't face going in,I was signed off for stress for 10 weeks,not once did he pick up the phone to ask me how I was.Then 5 days before Christmas a girl we both used to work with rang me to tell me she was now with him,as you can imagine I was shocked as j thought he had left me for the other woman which he did not now again had moved on!!It again was the worst pain I had experienced,Its coming up to a month since I even tired to contact him,someone said he sounds like narcasitic is he or is he just a player and wil he come ever come back?

GUESR121, Assuming gaining feedback is important to you and you'd prefer any advisers to be capable of giving your story proper attention, could you please edit your original post so's not to contain looping and to include paragraph breaks? Many thanks.

I need some help trying to figure out a situation I have been in.I was involved with a man for the last 5 years,the first year was perfect,we did everything together,I met his children and we moved in together with 3months, I thought my life had started and I was really happy.But then one day it all changed,we went out and a had a big argument,he told me the next day to pack my bags and leave it was the hardest thing I ever had to do but I did it. Weeks passed and I found out that he had stated to see his ex girlfriend it broke my heart,I begged him to talk to me,since then he never left my life kept coming back and fourth telling me its me he wanted,he's never been happier with anyone but me and I feel for it every single time,this carried in for 2years no real commitment all he kept saying was we are working towards a realtionship.In March last year he finally decided to give us a proper go,things were looking good he again began to be the way he was when we first got together until I asked him where this realtionship was going,I wanted commitment to get married and have children,he left angry, I found out in June he was again cheating on me,it broke me all over again and this time I wanted answers to why this had gappened,he began ingoning me,I was ringing him,texting him but would get no reply,I even asked a close friend to ask to speak to me and all he said is that he would in his own time,it never came,because I worked with him I couldn't face going in,I was signed off for stress for 10 weeks,not once did he pick up the phone to ask me how I was. Then 5 days before Christmas a girl we both used to work with rang me to tell me she was now with him,as you can imagine I was shocked as j thought he had left me for the other woman which he did not now again had moved on!!It again was the worst pain I had experienced,Its coming up to a month since I tried to contact him.someone said he sounds like narcasitic is he or is he just a player and wil he come ever come back?

Much better, thanks. And now you'll get a better result. SEE HOW THAT WORKS? :-) I'll explain... The first year+ always seems perfect, it's called Honeymoon Period (..or just great chemistry in most obvious motion. Doesn't help you if they're an idiot, however, and one that encourages you to be one too.) It means you've got over the (roughly) 3 month and 9 month hurdles. Then comes the 18-mth/2 year (which is why your dating gurus call never managing a lengthier relationship period than this a Red Flag). However, moving in together within 3 months is another (because it goes against Nature's still-operational programme process). And considering your 2 year mark featured his going blah-blah yet not validating it with corresponding, sustained or repeat-pattern *actions* as create PROGRESS - that was the biggest Red Flag you could get. So basically, at that prior point he decided against taking the relationship further. Had it just been an argument, he'd have called you back. And within hours or at the very most days. But he actually sought a replacement. But you wouldn't accept what this action said to you, so this gave him his chance to use you secretly as free-of-charge escort and prostitute. "until I asked him where this realtionship was going,I wanted commitment to get married and have children,he left angry" In other words, when you ("and THIS TIME I wanted answers") got him into a corner and insisted on a proper answer, that p*ssed him off (because his player efforts had failed)... so, rather than give the honest answers, he left again (because he knew how effective that was on cowing you... which he wanted to do in case he again couldn't replace you or replace you fast enough). He wasn't, technically, cheating on you, though, despite he'd led you into BELIEVING that the case (which is worse). Because, as I say, he'd already ENDED your relationship as quasi married partners. But he wasn't acting like a boyfriend, either, in which case - so had he that status. He's an amateur, (suspect reactive) player. Whether he has narcissism at the root isn't clear with only that amount of detail to go on. Obviously impulsive and unfamiliar with how a relationship develops beyond Honeymoon, when that wears off he thinks the love has worn off, whereas it was never there to begin with (and true love cultivated properly doesn't wear off anyway)... because he rushes... tries unconsciously to beat the commitmentphobia he knows he possesses as will kick in the minute TRUE intimacy threatens, to the alter. I can only imagine that the fact he stayed married long enough to have kids was down to his then-'wife's' own relationship abilities combined with her IN-ability to let go due to an over-determination to try, try, try, try ("argh!"), try, try, try ("aaaaaaaargh!!!!"), try, try, try ("GIMMIE THE GUN!!!").....again. He's a mentally lazy, cake and eat it ucker, also unwilling to make any real self-investment, naturally whom not only wants the women to behave like Tarzan to his Jane but who manages to give them the sense of all-clear over it. Hardly surprising he replaced her with you and then, for a while, replaced you with her, is it, considering you both have the same personalities in that 'do it all myself' regard? Next time, it's this: - Don't mix business with pleasure. Keep the hunting and mating grounds separate like the entirely separate entities they are (or don't be surprised if you find yourself in M&S, frustrated because you can't find any spanners and 2 by 4). - You Tarzan (during chase and woo phases), me Jane - as nature wired us for. So go on - impress me (in all the ways there are for a man to impress a future wife that he'd make great husband and father material). - Don't tell me, SHOW ME! (Watch the actions - his and yours....... including whether you've posted correctly on your forum thread.) - And the good actions (and lack of bad actions) have to form a repeat pattern or be sustained for them to count as truth. - And if you can sense this relationship can last for life, you HAVE your whole lives... so where's the hurry? That's not to say, go at snail's pace either. Just, not rush. Next time a bloke invites you to move in with him within 3 piddly months, say, 'No. That would be decidedly foolish for both of us'. For-life, Grade A romantic relationships are not for the feint-hearted nor the mentally lazy / (COUGH!) overloaded & distracted. 'If a job's worth doing, it's worth doing well'. No, he WON'T be back. Because you don't wannim! You're worth more than piddly crumbs. Aren't you.

Yes your right I don't want him back.Just hurts the way he went about everything.He even blamed me for the whole break up said I was always pecking his head and why did I have to ask questions,when he had already told me we were working towards something. As for the new girl she rang me to tell me and then also laughed at ME actually they both did,he was acting pretty childish as he began swearing at me and all I could hear was both of them laughing. Deep down I know I'm better off without him but just don't understand how he moved on so quickly and nothing phases him,he said he doesn't feel guity about what he did!!