Am I being used?

Hi I'm feeling very low at the moment I've been seeing an older man 17 yrs older he's in his 50s for roughly 4 years and in that time although it's been kept quiet as his ex is a nut job I know her we haven't been with anyone else I guess we're fwb. But Ive been living with him for over a year as I became homeless and he's that kinda man where he'd help anyone out so I didn't see me moving in there as moving to the nxt level. Thing is he's recently gone on holiday with a family member whos male and married although he's cheated on his wife while being away. I'm really scared he will do the same. He did say if ought happened he'd tell me and I do believe him. I know were not boyfriend and girlfriend but why do I feel like Crap. If he does sleep wi another do I handle it by wrll he was on holiday and never see her again or what I'm missing him like mad please advise me I'm going crazy

Hi, Have you ever asked to sit down and really talk to him about where you two are as friends, a couple, room-mates, anything like that? Maybe he thinks what you two have is different to what you think you have?

Hi,hubby2b thank u for replying. We have talked in the past and he says were both free to do what we want although he can't be bothered with going out and picking someone up. And why Wud he I guess when he knows I'm there. But he can get jealous he said r u seeing someone the other day I said no why well when yr phone rings yr secretive and go into another room I explained that was because us girls talk for ages and we'd be watching TV so instead of ruining it for him I'd go to another room. Anyway he carried on saying I'm not a jealous person or haven't been but u. Then changed wot he was saying just tell me if u are. I told no I'm happy wi wot I've got. He was fine then. But he's on holiday and told me he'd kissed someone but nothing stirred downstairs if u no wot I mean. Plus he said it didn't feel right that was it. Now I'm stressing that he's gonna do it again before coming home he's bk in 10 days I know he'd tell me but how do I handle it I do have feelings for him and it's killing me at the moment thinking he's doing it all the time when he probably isn't my heads mashed